Can and can’t do attitude.

Folded:

• Rito a Los Angeles by Giuseppe De Luca (featured near the end of Ocean’s Twelve all those years ago. You’ll want to rob someone in a ridiculously stylised way when you hear it. Or maybe just buy the record. Buy the record, that’s best)
• National Lampoon’s reboot (no, no, this is a terrible idea, but Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo are slated to appear and that’s movie news of the year)
• ‘Holiday Roa oa oa oa oa oa oa oa oa oad!’ (on Five this week and last. See above)
• Gamer (if you didn’t like Crank you won’t like this, but if you did you will. Savvy?)
• Glee (not been cancelled yet so you may as well get on board)

Creased:

• Hotmail (changed your password yet? Better check somebody hasn’t already done it for you)
• ‘Why’s it dark all the time?’ (because it’s autumn, stupid. Or the apocalypse. Either way it’ll ruin your breakfast)
• The Rick Edwards/ Nick Grimshaw double act on Freshly Squeezed (bearable apart, but these two dragging out a skit until it’s so thin even Cannon and Ball would sign off is a bit much to take at 7 am)
• People who top up your wine glass without asking (we’re not all alcoholics and we don’t all want warm chardonnay. For heaven’s sake, there are etiquette books on this type of thing)
• We’re Golden (Mika’s take on Two Many Broken Hearts makes a pain in our brain)

But she’s getting sued for not promoting a film she was in? Well – stranger things have happened.

There is also the chance that this is the first time in her life that Paris Hilton has done something that made sense, with the film in question being National Lampoon’s Pledge This!. Why anyone in their right mind would bother having anything to do with what is an utter pile of pump we do not know, and when someone who doesn’t come across as if she’s in any kind of right mind knows to keep away from it then, well – you know something just isn’t right.

Yes, the political campaigner extraordinaire is being sued by the company behind Pledge This! for $75,000 thanks to her apparent lack of effort in promoting the film. According to Worldwide Entertainment Group, the action is being taken against Paris Hilton as she was paid $1 million for her “acting services” and “reasonable promotion and publicity” of the film.

It would seem she brought neither to the table, though she did at least try to do some acting. She failed, and frankly we’d sue her for a lot more than 75k for the botch job she did – but that goes without saying, really.

The actual point WEG are making is that she didn’t appear on talk shows or conduct the interviews she was meant to be involved in. Which is sure to have left legions of her fans heartbroken, as they missed out on the heiress once again sitting there, looking thick as pigshit and talking crap about nothing with the dumb smile that only someone born into such unworthy privilege could possibly wear.

Jealous? Hecklerspray? Nah.

It does make you wonder why Paris bothers with any films that don’t involve her putting the male member in her mouth – that’s surely the only celluloid success the dippy bint has ever had. Her experiment with that form of cinema was popular, well-received and must have made a pretty penny. She even acted pretty well in it, truth be told.

But no, it would seem Miss Hilton likes to think she can make a go of this ‘genuine’ acting stuff. It would also seem that she is greatly, greatly deluded in that respect, and it would seem that she doesn’t want to even bother telling people when she has acted in anything.

Though we should point out again, the movie in question was National Lampoon’s Pledge This!, and National Lampoon films haven’t been funny since the days of Animal House or Vacation. At least Chevy Chase bothered to promote his films, even if he was off his tits on whatever concoction of substances he rammed down his throat that day.

That’s graft, right there. Something Paris Hilton doesn’t seem to know anything about.