national anthem - HecklerSpray

Beyonc? To Be Exiled for Lip-Syncing The National Anthem

January 23rd, 2013 By Chris Chambers

Poor Beyonc? is being slammed?with scandalous?allegations that she lip-synced the National Anthem during the presidential inauguration ceremony in Washington, D.C. on Monday. While a small amount of disappointment is reasonable … it is a bit sneaky to pretend you’re singing when you’re not … the current level of outrage is somewhat ludicrous.?

Really …?who gives a shit? She sounded good (sorry, her recorded voice sounded good) and she looked pretty and that’s why she was there. On the flip side … yes, it was chilly, but everyone else managed to perform. And, yes, the Star-Spangled Banner is a hard song to sing, but that’s her fucking job, right?

Hecklerspray Versus Super Bowl 2012

August 7th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Hello. You’ve landed on the hecklerspray Super Bowl 2012 liveblog. Here, you’ll find a limey’s confused view on proceedings, complete with drunken ribaldry, American snack reviews, arrogance, a willful disregard for spelling and enough lame jokes to fill the average American’s cavernous gut. It’ll be great. Abuse and pedantry always welcome.

<a href="http://www.coveritlive.com/mobile.php/option=com_mobile/task=viewaltcast/altcast_code=5a8fb28142">Hecklerspray Super Bowl 2012 Liveblog</a>

Madonna Promises That There’ll Be No Wardrobe Malfunctions At Super Bowl (Thank God)

February 3rd, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Remember when Janet Jackson invented the term ‘wardrobe malfunction’ at the Super Bowl? That was good wasn’t it? In the old days, it was just called ‘flashing’ or ‘exposing yourself’, which is clearly what happened, but Janet’s people had to pretend it was an accident.

Well, people are a little nervous of a nipple being shown at the Super Bowl halftime show this year, mainly because no-one in their right mind wants to see Madonna’s rock-hard gym-sculpted banger on view, all sinew and veins.

And mercifully, she’s promised that this won’t be happening.

Super Bowl 2012: Worst Star Spangled Banner Performances, EVER!

February 3rd, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Super Bowl Sunday is nearly upon us, leaving 99.9% of the Great British public absolutely nonplussed. The remaining 1% is made entirely of 3 super fans and a host of the curious. Still, that shouldn’t stop us looking at it.

See, the Super Bowl is one of the most peculiar events on the planet. It’s probably the biggest sporting event that is honest enough to let-on that, basically, the game itself is the least important element of it.

And there’s so much else to pick at. The commercials are a big talking point, not to mention the halftime show (this year, featuring Madonna). One of the best things about American events is the need to sing the awful and saccharine National Anthem. With that, we are going to look at some of the worst renditions of the Star Spangled Banner, EVER.

Kelly Clarkson Is Going To Star Spangled Thingy At Super Bowl XLVI

January 12th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Hey! America! You know that song you have that goes “Oh say can you see? By the dawn’s early light! Da-da-dum, dee-dee-dee, the actor called Rocket Redglare’s arse glows!” or whatever it is? Well, once again, it will be sung at a major sporting event where you don’t compete against anyone else in the world!

And who might be fluffing the lyrics to it at Super Bowl XLVI?!

Why, it’s the regrettably nice Kelly Clarkson who is very, very difficult to hate – unless you listen to her music.

Christina Aguilera Has Put Some Weight On Which Is Great For 6th Form Feminists

January 9th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Christina Aguilera has a problem. That problem is not knowing when to tone it down when she’s singing. That’s it. That’s the only thing that is truly wearisome about her. Even when she flubbed her lines while singing the American National Anthem, only bozos got narked.

However, there’s another thing that people keep mentioning – her weight.

See, Xtina has put a bit of chub on lately and pretty much no-one gives three hoots. And why would they? She’s not stealing food from your plate. However, women appear to be obsessed with the breadth of female celebrities with the caveat of ‘not that it matters of course!’ Either way, by not caring, Aguilera has been asked about her dress size. Again. Apparently, she’s thrilled.

Cyndi Lauper To Be Executed For Vile Act During 9/11 Tribute [Video]

September 12th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

America is feeling very, very patriotic at the moment as they unify in memory over the events of 9/11, when some planes went and killed a load of people. Horrifying stuff, not least for the pointless memories of those on twitter saying “I remember watching it on TV”

And America is jumpy enough at the moment. First off, the American Army declared war on Soulja Boy after he said they were rubbish… and now, they’ve got Cyndi Lauper to invade too.

That’s because Lauper did the worst thing imaginable. She got the words wrong to the American National Anthem. As well you know, messing with the Star Spangled Banner, or indeed, mocking the bit of cloth that is their flag, is punishable by death.

Christina Aguilera Has Problems With Her Breasts On Television

May 20th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Since Christina Aguilera flubbed the American National anthem at the Super Bowl, starred in the impressively eventless Burlesque and got arrested for being more drunk than Oliver Reed’s liver, she’s not been too much fun.

In fact, she’s been something of a bore. Instead of properly going off the rails, she’s turned into a little walking book of calm, sounding for all the world like a quack that appears on Geraldo or something.

And so, despite the fact we’ve all seen her boobs in Those ‘Leaked’ Naked Photos, Xtina decided to be incredibly serious and overwrought about the fact her tatas nearly fell out of her dress, repeatedly, while appearing on the show, The Voice.?

America Still Appalled That Christina Aguilera Had A Really Fun, Drunken Night Out

March 3rd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Oh America. You’re a silly continent sized country. Someone can drink one bottle of spirits on a night out and suddenly, they’ve got a problem. Not surprising that there’s this attitude when the most popular beer is things like Bud Light, which to a European, is akin to water, seeing as Budweiser itself is about as intoxicating as sucking a warm ice cube.

And of course, with Christina Aguilera seemingly getting completely shit-faced for the first time ever (in the public eye at least), the whole country is gathering ’round her to see if she’d like a hug and a lift to rehab.

Naturally, The People Close To The Singer, such as her ex-husband Jordan ‘Do The’ Bratman, and now wringing their hands, furrowing their brows and sighing with faux-reluctance that alcohol has always been something of an issue with poor ol’ troubled Aguilera.

Christina Aguilera Is Arrested For Being Horrendously Drunk

March 1st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Christina Aguilera hasn’t been having a fun time of late. For a kick off, she’s been in the film Burlesque, which was not exactly well received (it’ll be a future classic, like Showgirls, but for now, we’re all too busy sneering).

Then, there was the whole ‘Oops! Someone hacked me and leaked those grotty looking naked pictures to everyone!’ thing. What? You missed that. Click here then, you gigantic filth trouser.

Things seemed to have climaxed with her forgetting some of the words to the American national anthem at the Superbowl shortly after a divorce. That’d be surely it? Not a chance. Apparently, she’s a borderline alcoholic… and she’s been arrested for it too.