Most men in Paul McCartney's position would have spent the last week sitting at home in the dark forlornly wondering how they ever let a catch like Heather Mills slip through their fingers.
Not Paul McCartney, though, now that his divorce is finalised, he's flown off to the Caribbean to jam his tongue down the throat of his American millionaire friend Nancy Shevell in front of some probably fairly nauseated holidaymakers.
So congratulations to Paul McCartney for moving on. True, Nancy Shevell might not regularly scream the word 'paedophile!' on breakfast TV in a funny voice, nor did she embark on a gruesome 1980s soft-porn career, not does her mouth wriggle sinisterly up one side of her face when she tries to smile, but Paul McCartney was never going to hit the jackpot twice in a row, was he?
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Old men! Are you both widowed and divorced and looking to attract women young enough to be your great niece? Then why not invest in a mandolin, because it seems to have bloody done Paul McCartney the world of good*.
Just a couple of weeks after Paul McCartney was seen smooching around with a New York millionairess – and a couple of months of Paul McCartney was seen getting close to Renee Zellweger – Paul McCartney is now thought to be dating star of no good films for a decade Rosanna Arquette, and the pair of them were recently seen hugging and gazing into each other's eyes in London. There's not much point dwelling on any of it, however, because at this rate Paul McCartney will have ditched Rosanna Arquette by the middle of next week, by which time he'll already be knee-deep in the female cast of One Tree Hill.
*You probably need to have been one of The Beatles too, now we think about it. Still, hope for Ringo.
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Since separating from Heather Mills, Paul McCartney has missed a woman's touch – their sweet fragrance, the silky lustre of their hair, the way they scream in confused terror when they're stabbed in the arm with a sawn-off wineglass.
But it looks like Paul McCartney has had enough of the single life, as he's been romantically linked with a separated New York millionairess called Nancy Shevell who he's been seen snuggling up to and kissing a handful of times already. While it's clear what Paul McCartney sees in Nancy Shevell – a woman who drips class and has never to our knowledge gone on breakfast TV and said the world 'paedophile' in an extraordinarily high-pitched voice – it's slightly harder to see what Nancy Shevell sees in elderly dough-faced grandmother-impersonator Paul McCartney the former Beatle and multi-multimillionaire.
It must be the way he smells or something.
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