Angelina Jolie Gives Her Babies Depressingly Normal Names So Angelina Jolie has finally given birth to those baby twins she seems to have been pregnant with for the last 28 months. And now that Angelina Jolie has increased her ever-expanding brood of biological and adopted kids to six, you'd expect that she'd be thrilled, wouldn't you? Well think again - if the babies' names are anything to go by, Angelina Jolie bloody well hates the pair of them. Why? Because we all know that Angelina Jolie loves to give her children all sorts of zany names, but these new ones? Angelina's actually given them names that they'll be able to pronounce? Urgh! Worst of all, they're not even made up-names! One's called Leon and the other one's called Vivienne - Angelina may as well have just slapped them both in the face at birth and had done with it.

Jennifer Lopez Gives Twins Reassuringly Crap Names

Jennifer Lopez has finally decided to announce the name of her newborn twins - they're called Max and Emme.

"Now just you wait a cotton-picking minute, you sarcastic internet upstart," you're probably roaring at the screen in the ill-informed belief that we can hear you, "They're not crap names like you said in the headline. In a world of Shiloh Nouvels and Bluebell Madonnas, Jennifer Lopez should be applauded for naming her kids something as low-key as Max and Emme."

To which we say, do you know what the twins' full names are? Maximiano and Emelina, that's what. Although that might change once someone informs Jennifer Lopez that she gave birth to human babies, not a fairytale witch and a Pokemon.