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Naked celebrities

Badvertising: Watch Naked Eva Mendes Advert Banned From TV

by David Schwartz

It’s just typical. You finally get an advert worth watching – and then it gets banned. US TV network bosses have deemed Eva Mendes’ advert for Calvin Klein Secret Obsession perfume – in which she writhes around naked on her bed – as too hot for TV. Bloody squares. OK, so you can see a [...]

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Brooke Hogan To Get Her Big Naked Chin Out For Playboy

by Stuart Heritage

It says a lot about the disarray that the Hogan family is in when Brooke Hogan stands out as the most together member.

True, Brooke Hogan might be so freakishly hell-bent on getting famous that she’ll try anything from hopeless singing careers to toe-curling opportunistic reality TV shows to get it, but for the simple fact that she isn’t Hulk Hogan or Nick Hogan, we’re prepared to give Brooke Hogan the benefit of the doubt.

Because Brooke Hogan’s hardly planning to exploit her own family’s real-life woes by getting naked for Playboy in the blind hope that it’ll give her the attention she thinks she deserves, is it? What? That’s exactly what she is doing? Fine – disregard everything you’ve just read. We’ll start again after the jump.

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Lee Ryan Out The Running For Father Of The Year

by Matthew Laidlow

For ages, hecklerspray believed that the most intimate act a married couple could engage in was the exchange of saliva when ramming their tongues down each others throats. However, we were proven wrong when we were told that a couple can prove their love for each other by ‘creating a baby’. This literally knocked us [...]

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Megan Fox Wants To Get All Naked!

by Matthew Laidlow

Some people say that the film industry is churning out the same boring stuff week after week.

If it’s not another re-make, adaptation, based on a book or a sequel then it’s amazing to see something off any original merit reaching the big screen.

Transformer Megan Fox is sick of this and is making a one women stance against the generic films being exported out of various film studios. She wants to take things back to the old school and revisit the industry in the 1930s. You may think she wants to don a Charlie Chaplin style moustache and partake in silent films, but you’d be wrong. Instead she wants to do a film in the nude. All because she believes it was done “arty” back then.

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Jack Black: Brace Yourself World, I’m Planning To Get Naked

by David Schwartz

Someone please give Jack Black a cheeseburger.

Why? Well, for starters, shoving it in his big, fat chops might shut him up.

Secondly, it could be the only way we can stop him from doing nude scenes.

That’s right – nude scenes!!

‘Nude scenes’ and ‘Jack Black’ – if ever there was four words that should not appear together in the same sentence it’s that right there.

And you’ll be disgusted to know that the Kung Fu Panda star has done them before (In Margot at the Wedding – just in case you are some twisted freak and want to check him out.)

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Hugh Hefner: Hey Miley Cyrus, Get Naked For Playboy

by Stuart Heritage

Now that you’ve seen part of her back and about a third of one of her bras, Miley Cyrus is a certified sex object.

What? Miley Cyrus is only 15? Well, um, obviously we were joking about that sex object bit. The supple, milky-white backs of teenage girls are so disgusting to us that we think they should all be burnt with flaming torches. But Playboy’s Hugh Hefner has another idea. You can probably guess what it involves.

That’s right – Hefner has asked Miley Cyrus to appear naked in Playboy. But don’t worry, because Miley Cyrus won’t be getting naked for Playboy until she’s 18, the age where people immediately stop having moral objections to teenage nudity. Until then, though, it looks like you’ll just have to wait until the inevitable Miley Cyrus naked internet photos. Perverts.

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New Miley Cyrus Photos Hark Back To Her Less Slutty Days

by Paul Sorrenti

Miley Cyrus has managed to get through a photo shoot without flashing her jail-bait back to anyone.

Thank God for that. We can once again look at Miley Cyrus without feeling like the spirit of Gary Glitter has entered into our souls.

Now all we need do is wait a few months until her sixteenth birthday and, abracadabra, we can gawp at her naked tweeny flesh without society judging us as perverts. God bless the American legal-system!

We will gawp and we will gawp and we will gawp; forever demanding more flesh; celebrating her when she supplies it to us and, once her supplies inevitably run out, we shall hound her to the depths of hell which, as Britney Spears’ll testify, is alive and well here on Earth.

And that is when the fun really begins. Mwa ha ha!

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Anyone Wanna See Britney Spears’ Semi-Naked Tits & Ass?

by Paul Sorrenti

Come gather round children, for that most marvellous of phenomena has occurred once more. Britney Spears has got semi-naked in public. Hallelujah!

As we all know there are only two things that perpetuate the spinning of the earth on its axis these days – celebrities and naked girls.

They are everywhere, constantly vying for our attention. It’s a daily clash of the titans; one day naked girls will get a unanimous victory, only for celebrities to get their sweet revenge soon after, leaving a bloody pool of tits, ass and ego all over the streets in their wake.

The only time peace can be found is when the two of them merge their awesome powers together, creating that all powerful attention grabbing freak of nature that is: the naked-girl-celebrity.

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Lindsay Lohan’s Mum: ‘You Will Not See My Daughter’s Vagina!’

by Paul Sorrenti

Lindsay Lohan’s mum, Dina Lohan, has dismissed reports that her daughter will be getting her fanny out for upcoming independent film Florence.

The news has no doubt brought a tear to the eye of a million lonely lads who, if Dina is to be believed, will have to make do with what Lindsay has put out there for your consumption already – as if that wasn’t enough.

But who cares about those wankers? Take a moment to spare a thought for the producers of the film: you jerk-offs have only lost out on another chance to be titillated – the producers have lost the entire plot to their film!

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Harry Potter To Unleash His Naked Penis Across America

by Stuart Heritage

Americans know how they like their child-stars – naked and terrified of the malevolent horse-gods they’re also sexually aroused by.

So today should be like Christmas for them, because Daniel Radcliffe – who, as Harry Potter, is basically King Child Star – has announced that he’s taking his production of Equus to America, where it will play in Broadway from September.

Equus. You know. Equus. The play that explores the ethical ambiguity of free will versus the enforced conventions of societal normality as laid out by the Bible and psychiatric practices. The play that, through the unique on-stage seating plan, forces the audience to confront notions ofvoyeurism and artifice for themselves. Oh, alright – the play where Harry Potter gets his penis out, waggles it around and then stabs a bunch of horses in the eye. Happy now?

Americans know how they like their child-stars - naked and terrified of the malevolent horse-gods they're also sexually aroused by. So today should be like Christmas for them, because Daniel Radcliffe - who, as Harry Potter, is basically King Child Star - has announced that he's taking his production of Equus to America, where it will play in Broadway from September. Equus. You know. Equus. The play that explores the ethical ambiguity of free will versus the enforced conventions of societal normality as laid out by the Bible and psychiatric practices. The play that, through the unique on-stage seating plan, forces the audience to confront notions ofvoyeurism and artifice for themselves. Oh, alright - the play where Harry Potter gets his penis out, waggles it around and then stabs a bunch of horses in the eye. Happy now?
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