Five teenage boys are standing in a circle, arms locked around each others shoulders but this is no group hug.
They are all urinating into the centre.
They are ten metres away from the toilets.
Welcome to Leeds.
Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
By Si Sharp
By Mof Gimmers
My Chemical Romance – the Soda Stream of Rock (tasteless, full of gas and depressingly disappointing) – are having a typically overwrought time of it at the moment and no amount of self-harming is going to get them out of this drama.
See, they’ve had to sack their drummer who you’ve never heard of. Why? Because he’s been stealing from the group.
But what has he stolen? There wasn’t any musical ability to take, but a sacking means that it was more precious than even that! We’ve got an idea…
By Ralph Sanders
Festivals are ace, aren't they? They?re like proper gigs, but you have to spend a weekend in a smelly tent and buy beer for ?4 a can from a crusty trust fund hippy in order to see your favourite band perform their popular hits from half a mile away while you hold in eight pints of urine because you don't want to go to the horrible, horrible toilets.
Anyway, Leeds/Reading have had their lineups ?leaked? to the press, which has had the unfortunate side effect of making it ?news?.
So yay! We can find out which bands we're going to see as unremarkable dots in the distance this year. Would it surprise you to note that most of them are awful? No? In that case, read on.
By Kris Silver
The organisers of Hard Rock Calling, that sort of festival like thing that happens in Hyde Park every summer that isn't the O2 Wireless festival, have decided that former Fall Out Boy bassist and pioneer of the musical equivalent of object d?, Pete Wentz, is a suitable choice for a battle of the bands judge.
Right? RIGHT?
If you're lucky enough to have forgotten the mid noughties, here?s a crash course in all things Pete Wentz:
By Matthew Laidlow
It’s that time of the year again when music lovers gather in a field to celebrate the thing they love: live music.
There are all sorts of festivals to cater for all sorts of musical tastes in all four corners of the world. The main ones kick off at this time of year and hecklerspray is here to tell you all you need to know about each festival, who the essential people are to see and which act to avoid so you can queue up for the overflowing shit-filled portaloos.
As the sun sneaks out from behind one of his many clouds, the hot weather looks like it may arrive for one of the festivals that kick starts them all. Download is the chance for 75,000 people to gather together and rock out to leather clad men drenched in tattoos and piercings. Sounds like a bit ropey if you ask us.