Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
It must be excellent being part of a successful young pop group.
You get to travel the world, stopping occasionally to jump around on stage, then, in the evening, you can wile away the hours brainlessly passing groupies around, necking gin. You don’t have to think for yourself, which makes certain popstar decisions near impossible to understand.
Below are four maniacs who decided to brave the world on their own, only to realise that they’d probably just made a massive mistake…
Well this is a turn-up for the books – after a fortnight of waiting for something, anything, to happen, Celebrity Big Brother just got exciting.
On Friday, Tina Malone was evicted from the Celebrity Big Brother house – which, hooray, gave her another chance to bleat on about herself – and she was swiftly followed by Mutya, who suddenly decided that living with Coolio was rubbish and walked out. And either Ulrika or Coolio is being booted out tonight, too. See? Exciting! Sort of.
But what about the remaining Celebrity Big Brother housemates? Let’s find out, with our weekly look at Ben Adams, Coolio, LaToya Jackson and Michelle Heaton…
Yes, you read that correctly – this Friday one of four housemates will be evicted from Celebrity Big Brother, and none of them are Coolio.
Instead, Ulrika Jonsson, Tina Malone, Michelle Heaton and Mutya all gained the most amount of nominations from their fellow housemates. Who goes? You decide. Or rather a bunch of crosseyed numbskulls who think that voting for Celebrity Big Brother evictions is a constructive recreational activity will decide. Or something.
So for the rest of the week we’ll be looking at the prospective Celebrity Big Brother evictees, starting with Mutya and Ulrika…
The Celebrity Big Brother house has changed drastically in the absence of Lucy Pinder. How? Well, um…
Oh alright, the Celebrity Big Brother house hasn’t changed in the slightest since Lucy Pinder was evicted on Friday, mainly because the poor girl had all the charisma of a pebble. Honestly, we started hitting the side of our TV during Lucy’s eviction interview because we thought her weird droning voice was some sort of manufacturer’s defect.
But anyway, now that Lucy Pinder is gone, how are the other Celebrity Big Brother housemates holding up? Here’s our week two look at Ben Adams, Coolio, LaToya Jackson, Michelle Heaton and Mutya…
Hey kids, have you heard the news? Celebrity Big Brother is back – and better than ever! Alright, it’s back. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.
So what’s new with Celebrity Big Brother this year? Well, judging by Friday’s big opening episode, it’s being sponsored by a bed shop and Davina McCall has taken to dressing like a big crow. And Ulrika Jonsson‘s already up for eviction. And that’s literally it.
And since nothing of interest has happened whatsoever so far, let’s get going with part one of our Celebrity Big Brother 2009 introductions, for LaToya Jackson, Mutya, Verne Troyer, Tommy Sheridan, Lucy Pinder and Ben Adams…
