Mutt Lange - HecklerSpray

Shania Twain Taunts Us By Nearly Quitting Music After Throat And Emotions Fail Her

May 4th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Shania Twain once told us that ‘the best thing about being a woman is that you get to have a little fun.’ Of course, men have fun too. And when men and women have fun together, everything is just great, right?

Wrong. You see, in this case, ‘a little fun’ happened to be Shania’s husband – Mutt Lange – sticking his member inside Twain’s best friend in the whole world. “That don’t impress me much, uh-uh-uh-ooow“, Shania probably said at the time she found out about it all.

The fallout of this heartbreak left us all tantalisingly close to Shania giving up on music completely, never again subjecting us innocents to the appalling, vomiting country-pop smashes that briefly took over the universe like some kind of sonic herpes.

Shania Twain: The Inevitable Heartbroken Yelp

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

All break-ups must be difficult, but it probably stings a bit more if your ugly, almost-pensionable husband leaves you for a funny-looking Swiss lady.

Which is why Shania Twain is hurting so bad at the moment, because her 14-year marriage to Mutt Lange ended when he apparently started having it off with a woman who, to all intents and purposes, looks like a fire-damaged Sandra Bernhard bobblehead doll.

But if anyone can keep Shania Twain’s spirits up it’s her fans, all of whom Shania has sincerely thanked from the bottom of her heart in a message on her website. Don’t get too excited, though, because Shania Twain makes it perfectly that her heart has been broken into tiny pieces. So she’s thanking you from the bottom of something that doesn’t even work properly. What a massive bitch.

Shania Twain: Man, I Feel Like Cutting My Estranged Husband’s Willy Off

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Shania Twain and Mutt Lange had one of the happiest marriages in Hollywood. Except that they live about 6,000 miles away from Hollywood.

Oh, and it doesn’t seem like they could have been all that happy either. Actually, just discount that entire opening sentence, it’s pretty much all bollocks.

Anyway, the reason why Shania Twain’s marriage was so unhappy was because her husband Mutt Lange was apparently schtupping another woman. Another woman who worked for Shania and Mutt. Another woman who Shania Twain considered to be her best friend. Seriously, if one of these people isn’t given their own reality TV show soon we’ll be buggered.