Posts tagged as:

Music

Video Of 12 Year Old Kanye West Emerges Doing Poem (He’s Not As Good As He Used To Be)

by Mof Gimmers

Kanye West is not a talented rapper. Sure, he’s great at getting heard, getting famous and coming up with mad-schemes to stay in the limelight, but he’s rapping… let us just say he’s a slower wordsmith than Turbo B from Snap! Still, an attention-seeker always gets attention. And it appears that he’s always been like [...]

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Beyonce Talks About Her Stupid Baby And Jay Z Being Covered In Poo

by Mof Gimmers

Beyonce is, no doubt, about to fill her Facebook with pictures of her baby despite the fact it has no hair, can’t talk, is probably doing a shit right now and essentially, is like every other baby on Earth. New parents are ghastly aren’t they? Worse still, is that people are constantly asking people how [...]

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Avril Lavigne Now Almost Entirely Pointless Now That She’s Single

by Mof Gimmers

Befanged, alt.lifestyle tourist, Avril Lavigne, long ago decided that being a skatergirl wasn’t for her because acne, greasy hair and ill-fitting jeans wasn’t at all attractive. And so, she promptly went mental, spat at some photographers and became airbrushed. Losing her raison d’être, she tottered off into some pop-twilight, only getting column inches for her [...]

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Elton John v Madonna: Handbags At Dawn

by Matthew Laidlow

Only the mysterious hecklerspray phantom bothered reporting on the 69th annual Golden Globe ceremony that took place on Sunday evening. Of course, we were ready to take multiple notes on the ceremony and present you with a factual article about the winners, losers and which actress had slopped gravy down their dress. However, broadcaster E! [...]

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Juliette Lewis Slates Lana Del Rey In Quickest Backlash Ever

by Mof Gimmers

Lana Del Rey hasn’t even got her debut LP out and yet, somehow, the backlash has already begun! We say ‘somehow’; we know exactly why it has started – she makes really awful music and she’s obviously getting very famous because she’s easy on the eye. Naturally, that’s not a new criticism against pop-music, but [...]

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Jay Z Will Not Be Calling Women ‘Bitches’ Anymore, Apart From You Slags

by Mof Gimmers

Jay Z famously had 99 problems but, a bitch wasn’t one of them. And from now on, bitches won’t ever be a problem because he’s decided that he’s not going to degrade women anymore. And it’s all because he’s had a stupid baby with a stupid name. Ain’t life a funny thing? Seriously. The rap [...]

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Badvertising: Is The Lynx 2012 Man The Unluckiest On Earth?

by Michael Park

Omens. Omens are what alarmingly superstitious people look for as they bounce eagerly from bad situation to bad situation. People who believe the old hokum about black cats and ladders invariably lay traps for themselves, only to be surprised when they fall into them, screaming in metaphorical agony. These are the people that don’t make [...]

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Have The FCU Discovered That T-Pain Sleeps In A Coffin?!

by Mof Gimmers

Unsettling news has reached hecklerspray! No, seriously. This is weird. Apparently, T-Pain sleeps in a coffin! A velvet-lined coffin no less! We’re terrified! We’ll never say anything nasty about lovely T-Pain again. He’ll probably cause us a world of T-Pain. That’s the worst kind of pain there is. Much worse than B-Pain or P-Pain. And [...]

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Kelly Clarkson Is Going To Star Spangled Thingy At Super Bowl XLVI

by Mof Gimmers

Hey! America! You know that song you have that goes “Oh say can you see? By the dawn’s early light! Da-da-dum, dee-dee-dee, the actor called Rocket Redglare’s arse glows!” or whatever it is? Well, once again, it will be sung at a major sporting event where you don’t compete against anyone else in the world! [...]

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Everyone Hates Beyonce Now She’s Bothered Some Droogs In A Hospital

by Mof Gimmers

It is testament to how much people hate parents when you consider that, prior to having a baby, Beyonce Knowles was quite possibly the most admired woman on the face of the planet. And now look at her… EVERYONE HATES BEYONCE. See, she’s had her baby with Jay Z, sidestepped the fake bump rumours and [...]

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