Articles tagged with: Music
Paul McCartney Set To Release A Ravetastic Electronic Album
With plenty of high profile hits and even a divorce behind him, Paul McCartney can literally do anything he wants. Let’s say he wanted to swing in through your living room window dressed as an octopus. Nobody would call him a mentalist. It’s because he’s flipping Paul McCartney from The Beatles. You have to be polite to him; he’s not a Sir for nothing. It’s well known that when The Beatles were locked away in a Liverpool studio many moons ago, they were under the influence of the mindbending drug LSD. So will Paul decide to swallow a couple of ecstasy pills so he can make more druggie inspired music? Who knows, but we expect him to don bright neon clothing and dance around like a twat with a couple of glowsticks. You see, he’s going to bring the party to YOU with an album full of electronic treats.
With plenty of high profile hits and even a divorce behind him, Paul McCartney can literally do anything he wants. Let’s say he wanted to swing in through your living room window dressed as an octopus. Nobody would call him a mentalist. It’s because he’s flipping Paul McCartney from The Beatles. You have to be polite to him; he’s not a Sir for nothing. It’s well known that when The Beatles were locked away in a Liverpool studio many moons ago, they were under the influence of the mindbending drug LSD. So will Paul decide to swallow a couple of ecstasy pills so he can make more druggie inspired music? Who knows, but we expect him to don bright neon clothing and dance around like a twat with a couple of glowsticks. You see, he’s going to bring the party to YOU with an album full of electronic treats.
Myspace Trawl – Death By Panda
We like it immensely when stuff is made simpler for us. Not because we’re lazy sods whose biggest daily challenge is picking up the remote off the floor, but because we like having things made easier for us. Wouldn’t it be ace if there were a device that did things when you thought it? Don’t want to get up and microwave last nights rotting curry? Then brainpower will solve that problem! Granted this would never happen and even if it did, it would probably be exploited for strange people to cook ants. But we can dream... Amazingly there is a point to the above dream. We hate it when we have to go out and buy an album, as we have to trek through the crowds and get pushed around by old people who deserve respect for fighting in wars and other boring things. The kids of today also demand respect. Not for any particular reason apart from the fact you’ll end up being stabbed and be left one kidney short. Money is sometimes is an issue. We don’t always have the funds to spend on records and downloading soulless MP3s with no artwork is crap. So isn’t it great to know that Death By Panda has his entire discography on the internet, for free, complete with pretty images?
We like it immensely when stuff is made simpler for us. Not because we’re lazy sods whose biggest daily challenge is picking up the remote off the floor, but because we like having things made easier for us. Wouldn’t it be ace if there were a device that did things when you thought it? Don’t want to get up and microwave last nights rotting curry? Then brainpower will solve that problem! Granted this would never happen and even if it did, it would probably be exploited for strange people to cook ants. But we can dream... Amazingly there is a point to the above dream. We hate it when we have to go out and buy an album, as we have to trek through the crowds and get pushed around by old people who deserve respect for fighting in wars and other boring things. The kids of today also demand respect. Not for any particular reason apart from the fact you’ll end up being stabbed and be left one kidney short. Money is sometimes is an issue. We don’t always have the funds to spend on records and downloading soulless MP3s with no artwork is crap. So isn’t it great to know that Death By Panda has his entire discography on the internet, for free, complete with pretty images?
Myspace Trawl – Rivulets
Apparently, the most recognised instrument in modern day music is the guitar. Anyone can pick it up and have a strum, though most people produce better sounds then the ones we belt out. But never mind, we aren’t overly jealous and we’re quite content with our homemade tambourine.
Some people also say that the human voice is something that can make or break a song; depending on how well the vocal sounds, it can add that little bit extra to the track. Once again, singing is not ranked highly on our list of talents - but when the karaoke bug bites, just watch hecklerspray go.
Myspace Trawl – Trifonic
After a few weeks of seemingly pissing people off with music from both ends of the extreme spectrum, we’re back to offer something more accessible. Oh, it’s also bloody fantastic to if we don’t mind speaking too soon.
We don’t really like people sending us messages telling us how awesome a band's friends think they are. Usually a band's mates have been bribed with jelly sweets to win their praise. Even if they're shit. So when we got a mini message from a band called Trifonic saying we’d like them because we were fans of Four Tet, we naturally took a listen. And we liked what we heard so much, we thought we’d share it with you.
Phil Collins Retires From Everything
This might come as a shock to those of you who thought that Phil Collins had already retired, but here goes - Phil Collins has just retired. At yesterday's Ivor Novello Awards, where we assume he won the Baldest Man To Have His Career Partially Resuscitated By A Drumming Monkey award, Phil Collins emotionally announced that he was retiring from the limelight to focus on raising his two young sons in Switzerland. So now we'll have to get used to a world without Phil Collins - a world where bad Disney cartoons about bears are left without a soundtrack, a world where Buster 2 will never materialise, and a world where both Noel Edmonds and Jeremy Clarkson will mope about in a fug of perpetual misery forever. So it's not all bad, then.
This might come as a shock to those of you who thought that Phil Collins had already retired, but here goes - Phil Collins has just retired. At yesterday's Ivor Novello Awards, where we assume he won the Baldest Man To Have His Career Partially Resuscitated By A Drumming Monkey award, Phil Collins emotionally announced that he was retiring from the limelight to focus on raising his two young sons in Switzerland. So now we'll have to get used to a world without Phil Collins - a world where bad Disney cartoons about bears are left without a soundtrack, a world where Buster 2 will never materialise, and a world where both Noel Edmonds and Jeremy Clarkson will mope about in a fug of perpetual misery forever. So it's not all bad, then.
Victoria Beckham To Never Ever Sing Ever Again
Fans of Victoria Beckham's 2002 number 6 smash hit A Mind Of Its Own, if you exist, prepare yourselves for the worst. You're never going to see Victoria Beckham perform that live again. Or any of her other two solo singles. Or any songs by any other human in the history of music. Victoria Beckham, you see, has formally retired from music. It's not really a surprise - money-grabbing Spice Girls reunion tours aside, Victoria Beckham has only used her voice to babble on relentlessly about herself in an infuriating hairdresser monotone for the past five years ago. But at least Victoria Beckham has made it official, leaving her free to concentrate on her arduous day job. We'll get back to you when we know what that actually is.
Fans of Victoria Beckham's 2002 number 6 smash hit A Mind Of Its Own, if you exist, prepare yourselves for the worst. You're never going to see Victoria Beckham perform that live again. Or any of her other two solo singles. Or any songs by any other human in the history of music. Victoria Beckham, you see, has formally retired from music. It's not really a surprise - money-grabbing Spice Girls reunion tours aside, Victoria Beckham has only used her voice to babble on relentlessly about herself in an infuriating hairdresser monotone for the past five years ago. But at least Victoria Beckham has made it official, leaving her free to concentrate on her arduous day job. We'll get back to you when we know what that actually is.
Nine Inch Nails: Here, Have Some More Rubbish Music For Free
Nine Inch Nails have always been pioneers, first in making rubbish music for sad idiots and now in innovative distribution methods. Following an experiment with some self-indulgent noodly-doodly instrumental tracks earlier this year, Nine Inch Nails has decided to give its new album away to fans for free, without even an option to pay anything, until it comes out on CD when you suckers will have to cough up. This move by Nine Inch Nails obviously has its critics, who claim that giving away music for free devalues it to the point where it becomes worthless. But these critics are plainly fools - the music of Nine Inch Nails has always been kind of worthless to everyone except for panda-eyed 13-year-olds with BO and a low-level interest in self harm. This just levels the playing field out a bit.
Nine Inch Nails have always been pioneers, first in making rubbish music for sad idiots and now in innovative distribution methods. Following an experiment with some self-indulgent noodly-doodly instrumental tracks earlier this year, Nine Inch Nails has decided to give its new album away to fans for free, without even an option to pay anything, until it comes out on CD when you suckers will have to cough up. This move by Nine Inch Nails obviously has its critics, who claim that giving away music for free devalues it to the point where it becomes worthless. But these critics are plainly fools - the music of Nine Inch Nails has always been kind of worthless to everyone except for panda-eyed 13-year-olds with BO and a low-level interest in self harm. This just levels the playing field out a bit.
Pete Doherty To Continue Making Awful Music In Prison
When shambling oxygen-thief Pete Doherty was recently thrown into prison for the grand total of 14 weeks, hecklerspray felt a murmur within our hearts - a rare glimmer of optimism, if you like. With P-Doh locked away, we reasoned, surely this would see a brief end to his staggeringly bad musical output? Hell: at least it'd be a long enough hiatus to ensure his fans became obsessed with something more entertaining - like watching a puppy slowly suffocate or listening to the mechanical vibrations of the Phillips X300 Bathroom Extractor Fan (man, when that third whirr cycle kicks in, it's just awesome). Alas, it was not to be. In a statement that has devastated the ear-owning community, Doherty has decided that prison life won't stop him churning out his sixth-form garbage. Mind you, seeing as prisons are essentially rife with drug abuse, violent assault and general hopelessness and despair, a couple of new Babyshambles tracks might make the ideal soundtrack.
When shambling oxygen-thief Pete Doherty was recently thrown into prison for the grand total of 14 weeks, hecklerspray felt a murmur within our hearts - a rare glimmer of optimism, if you like. With P-Doh locked away, we reasoned, surely this would see a brief end to his staggeringly bad musical output? Hell: at least it'd be a long enough hiatus to ensure his fans became obsessed with something more entertaining - like watching a puppy slowly suffocate or listening to the mechanical vibrations of the Phillips X300 Bathroom Extractor Fan (man, when that third whirr cycle kicks in, it's just awesome). Alas, it was not to be. In a statement that has devastated the ear-owning community, Doherty has decided that prison life won't stop him churning out his sixth-form garbage. Mind you, seeing as prisons are essentially rife with drug abuse, violent assault and general hopelessness and despair, a couple of new Babyshambles tracks might make the ideal soundtrack.
