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Do The Beatles hate people in wheelchairs? John Lennon was always ‘spazzing’ during the Fab Four’s shows in the 60s wasn’t he? Is there some kind of ablist agenda with the group? Surely not? Surely that can’t be right?
Executives at Apple Corps, which is the company set up by the assorted members of Mop Tops, have taken up a dispute with a load of wheelchairs.
And the wheelchairs didn’t stand a chance in the face of the might that is The Most Famous Band Who Ever Lived.
Snoop Dogg likes to smoke a little of that sticky icky icky. We know this because he talks about almost nothing else. Remarkably, he hasn’t proclaimed a fondness for reggae yet, so the rapper has decided to create yet another ode to weed by announcing that he’s making a reggae LP with Diplo.
Yes, really.
It’ll be all blunts-this, chong-that… light-’em-up and gorging on as many packets of 10p crisps at the 24 hour garage as he can.
Amazing news! Sir Elton John is planning to have another baby, apparently! That’s right, the bitch is back and he’s pregnant with his second child. Of course, his partner David Furnish has had something to do with it.
When Elton gives birth, it’ll be a delightful sibling for 14-month-old son Zachary.
We do worry about Elton John’s wee-way though. How does one go about squeezing a child out of your little wang? With him being a celebrity, he’ll probably have a C-section won’t he? How terribly fashionable.
Poor Dr. Conrad Murray, we can imagine that he’s not having the best of times in prison at the moment. Despite being convicted of the manslaughter of a certain Michael Jackson, he knows that, when he’s released, he’ll be battered with abuse from fanatical Jackson goons.
We don’t imagine prison to be an exciting place, especially in America. Our yank buddies seem a bit stricter on discipline and prefer to harbour inmates in cells without luxuries such as TV, radio and concealed weapons.
Some might argue that criminals deserve nothing, though they need some basics if they’re expected to see out a sentence given to them without hanging themselves with their shoelaces. One such thing is clean drinking water and the last time we checked, the BBC has held no telethon to raise money for dirty drinking water in LA. But if reports are to be believed, we might have to help America out. ‘Sexy’ Dr. Conrad Murray is blaming an embarrassing problem on what he drinks.
Justin Bieber has released a new song called ‘Boyfriend’ and absolutely no-one over the age of 10 who isn’t an outrageous pederast gives two hoots. However, it does give him the chance to talk about things he has little-to-no clue about.
See, some idiot decided to talk to him like he was a fully formed human, despite the fact the top of his head is still soft and he’s got no noticeable fingerprints.
Basically, Justin ‘not a hair on his balls’ Bieber is going to tell you, world weary and experienced, how to be a good boyfriend.
The bloke who used to be the drummer in The Libertines (no-one cares what his name is) is hoping that a new Libertines film called There Are No Innocent Bystanders will allow people see the band in a different light.
Of course, any right minded person will find out when the screenings are for this film and do us all a massive favour and burn down the screens and everyone in there, who have decided to watch this document of the world’s biggest syphilitic nincompoops.
If there’s one thing worse than Pete Doherty & Co, its the awful, awful, awful fans.
Madonna was at the top of the pop tree for so long that she got bloated. She indulged in dumb mysticism and since then, made some flabby pop albums and looked so very, very old and infirm.
Of course, an old and infirm Madonna is still much better value than a thousand Rihanna’s, but something interesting happened in the shape of Lady GaGa.
Basically, GaGa reminded Madge what she was supposed to be. And in Her Madgesty’s latest video – Girls Gone Wild – you can see how GaGa has influenced Madonna, who influenced GaGa in the first place. It’s a circle jerk that’s ended up in the customary VIDEO HAS BEEN BANNED FOR BEING TOO RUDE.
On this week in 2000, Yusuf Islam (previously known as Cat Stevens) joined the campaign to fight the government’s repeal of Section 28. Section 28 was the ban on homosexuality being ‘promoted’ in schools. By ‘promoted’, what it really meant was ‘being told that it existed’.
Those that sought to keep Section 28 thought that it was an essential piece of legislation that was all that stood between the bottoms of our innocent schoolchildren and a queue of 2000 predatory gays with unquenchable erections, such is the uniquely paranoid perspective of the bigoted mind.
Luckily the Section 28 thing has been forgotten and despite his high-profile religious conversion he is still mainly famous for writing some pretty ditties. Other tunesmiths have not been so lucky though and have become better known for other, similarly embarrassing behaviour.*
