Posts tagged as:

Muse

Glenn Beck Is Muse’s Biggest Fan, Which Means That Muse Fans Are All Mental

by Mof Gimmers

We’ve had our run-ins with Muse fans on countless occasions in the past. We were all set to apologise to them this morning… then we found out that Muse are just desperately unlucky with the fans they attract. Every single one of them are absolutely mental. And the tenuous proof? Well, one of Muse’s biggest [...]

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Radiohead To Release Invariably Turgid ‘The King Of Limbs’ Later This Week (Muse Already Copying Ideas From It)

by Mof Gimmers

Radiohead are delightfully obtuse aren’t they? Those crazy guys gave an album away for very little money (good thing as it was of very little quality) and Thom Yorke has an eye so low down his skull that he can tickle his Adam’s Apple with his eyelashes. And now, totally toying with our preconceived notions [...]

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Muse + Lady Gaga = Colossal Grammys Collaboration Weirdness

by Matthew Laidlow

Award ceremonies always guarantee a couple of moments that are repeated at every single show. Hilariously, there’s always the point when losing nominees have to graciously smile and clap, despite wanting to publically declare that the winner is nothing but muck on their shoe. Then when excessive alcohol bingeing kicks in, someone will make a [...]

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Hey! Mental Muse Fans! Kate Hudson Says She Isn’t Married To Stupid Matt Bellamy!

by Mof Gimmers

Let us get this right, Muse fans. Matt Bellamy can do no wrong, right? He’s gifted, smart and beautiful… yet… Kate Hudson is controlling him like a puppet and he’s daft enough to fall for her entrapment baby games, right? So basically, what we can glean from this line of thinking, which we’ve seen many [...]

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Rock Is Dead! Nominations Announced For NME Awards

by Mof Gimmers

Rock music is a sickly old dog at the minute. Think about it – pop, hip-hop and electronic music are spitting out exciting new bands every week, yet rock is really ailing, relying on older bands to show the way. Is it a good thing that Radiohead are one of the only innovators in rock? [...]

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Kate Hudson Is Having Another Baby With That Idiot From Muse

by Mof Gimmers

As shown on these very pages, time and time and time again, Muse fans are the most humourless, dreary music fans who ever lived. And so, their joyless, futile lives are about to be lifted briefly with the news that Matt Bellamy’s wife, Kate Hudson, is impregnated with his seed. How bloody wonderful. Of course, [...]

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Muse Want To Reach For The Stars Just Like S Club 7

by Matthew Laidlow

Ok, we’re sorry. Honestly, we can’t apologise enough to the legions of Muse fans that we might have accidentally upset with our throwaway comments. Recently, there have been a few choice accusations of calling Muse a poor carbon copy of Radiohead – you know that band that awkwardly reinvented their own sound from OK Computer [...]

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Muse To Be Banned In Australia (And Not Because They’re Rubbish)

by Matthew Laidlow

Comparing Muse to Radiohead like we did last time wasn’t received well. We’d would have had a more friendly response from a vegan if we tied them to a chair and did a sexy lap dance for them as we stripped out of an outfit made entirely out of bacon and mince. Clearly, people weren’t [...]

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Muse’s Next Album Is Destined To Be Crap

by Matthew Laidlow

Muse confuse us in the same way that as when we’re left puzzled by a surprise solid chocolate Twix instead of biscuit and caramel one. It’s not like they’ve released nothing but bad music, just the majority of it is rubbish. At best, we rate them as some sort of Radiohead tribute band who one [...]

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SPRAYLIST 09: Albums Of The Year

by Stuart Heritage

It’s December 29. That’s officially the happiest day of the year. Or one of the most depressing. Back to work, soon, you know. But not yet, so why not escape the company of those who you’ve grown to resent by reading what sort of music a bunch of uppity young turds have decided to force [...]

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