Posts tagged as:

MTV

Paris Hilton Doesn’t Want To See Her New Best Friend

by Paul Sorrenti

Paris Hilton Doesn’t Want To See Her New Best FriendEveryone’s favourite spoilt slag, Paris Hilton, is refusing to meet the candidates who are competing to become her BFF (best friend forever).

Instead the candidates will first have to pass an interview with two of the casting directors of MTV reality show ‘Paris Hilton’s My New BFF’.

According to the Metro, the premise of the show is this: ‘hot bitches’ and ‘fabulously fierce guys’ – or ‘girls’ and ‘gay fellas’ as they were once known – battle it out to become Paris Hilton’s new best friend forever.

Forever!

More…

2 comments Read more >>>

Paris Hilton Launches Her Twonkish Reality TV Friend Search

by Stuart Heritage

As a person currently using the internet, chances are you don’t have any friends. But Paris Hilton wants to change all that right now.

Because Paris Hilton wants you to be her friend. Well, not you obviously. Someone who’s a little less likely to stab her in the eye in a fit of rage within 20 seconds of meeting her. You know, someone who – shudder – actually likes Paris Hilton.

Yesterday Paris Hilton launched her new reality TV show, entitled Paris Hilton’s My New BFF – short for ‘best friend forever’. The show was going to be called Paris Hilton’s My New BFFTPOASLRTSAICINS – short for ‘best friend for the purposes of a short-lived reality TV show and I’m certain it’s not sincere’, but BFF’s just that little bit snappier.

1 comment Read more >>>

MTV To Cure Paris Hilton’s Friendless State

by Shawn Lindseth

Normally when Paris Hilton needs a new friend, she goes to a puppy mill and buys one that she can stuff in her hand bag.

Since the world-wide puppy shortage, however, that has become impossible. She’s tried filling that void with other animals, we heard, but the goldfish died in her mascara case and her squirrel kept trying to store nuts deep inside her. Picture yourself at a million-dollar luncheon, and acorns keep dropping out of your pant-suit. Untolerable.
Paris Hilton has given up her solo friend-search now, and is letting MTV find the yin to her yang, the Japan to her Germany, and the mindless cult to her Charles Manson. Via reality TV.

And if you don’t feel enticed enough to apply yet, keep in mind we’re pretty sure one of her eyes is a Johnny Depp piece of eight. Certainly that is worth your consideration.

1 comment Read more >>>

TV Review: A Shot Of Love With Tila Tequila

by Matthew Laidlow

Have you ever watched TV and had that slight feeling of déjà vu? It tends to happen a lot on quiz shows. Be it from the same old sob story about why people need money or the dire way creators come up with a new show.

It now appears that MTV has an equally strong mission to turn its viewer’s brains in to mush. And it does this by making one show and then remaking the balls off it in a billion exact same ways. So we had another ‘new’ programme debuted on our screens last night. We were introduced to MTV’s latest offering, A Shot Of Love With Tila Tequila.

1 comment Read more >>>

Paris Hilton Goes To Shanghai And Nothing Else

by Stuart Heritage

Paris Hilton, as we’ve all been forced to hear for months now, is a changed woman, and now that she’s out of prison once and for all, everything she’ll ever do for the rest of her life will be for the greater good of mankind.

And yesterday Paris Hilton flew to Shanghai to prove this by, um, mooching around The Bund and doing some shopping and stuff. OK, while that might not seem like an especially mankindy sort of act, but bear with us – while in Shanghai, Paris Hilton is going to attend the Asian MTV Style awards. Again, a wonky-eyed internet pornstar tip-tapping around Shanghai just so that she can listlessly clap her hands at some people who’ve been deemed to wear clothes fairly well might not seem like the sort of thing that’d make a wider difference to humanity, but really it is – now that it has to suffer seeing Paris Hilton everywhere, maybe the people of Shanghai will learn why everyone in the west is so uptight all the time.

6 comments Read more >>>

TV Review – Rad Girls

by Matthew Laidlow

Is it just us or have we seen an MTV show that’s a carbon copy of two other MTV shows? You know, the ones where groups of people come together and do stupid stunts and inflict pain on each other?

MTV was the first mainstream broadcaster to base a TV show around grown men acting like idiots and causing havoc. People were probably doing it long before Jackass came along, but nonetheless it was a cult show and inspired thousands of youngsters to set themselves on fire and dress up as monkeys. Once the format became stale, how could they resell it to us? Easy, create a UK version where we got to see lots of naked men stapling their cocks to bits of wood and eating their own vomit. Sadly, Dirty Sanchez is running out of steam, so what did the geniuses at MTV UK do? Launch the exact same show, but with an all star female cast – Rad Girls. Who says TV is dumbing down?

3 comments Read more >>>

Amy Winehouse Destroys Dressing Room With Spaghetti

by Stuart Heritage

Like most female divas, Amy Winehouse likes her dressing room just so – but instead of demanding it to be painted white with a bucket of room temperature Evian on hand, Amy prefers everything to be covered with spaghetti bolognese.

That seemed to be the case at the MTV Europe Video Awards last week in any case. It’s been revealed that Amy Winehouse caused thousands of pounds’ worth of damage to her dressing room by flinging spaghetti around, throwing tables and chairs against the walls and shredding her rug into tiny pieces. Amy Winehouse shocked onlookers at the EMAs by engaging in her terrifying five-minute kicking and screaming outburst, but on reflection that’s probably just because it’s the closest thing that Winehouse has actually got to a decent tune for the last few months.

1 comment Read more >>>

Kid Rock Gets Away With Lame MTV VMA Scuffle

by Stuart Heritage

Trouble is Kid Rock’s middle name. Actually it isn’t – it’s probably Jeb or Enos or Clawfoot or something – but that doesn’t matter because Trouble is also Kid Rock’s best friend, wife, vicar and Meals On Wheels delivery operative.

Kid Rock is addicted to trouble, and it doesn’t matter if it’s the sort of trouble that involves physical violence or the sort of trouble that involves making dreadful redneck heavy metal that sounds like it should exclusively soundtrack cross-eyed, chipped-tooth monster truck rallies. But sometimes Kid Rock’s penchant for trouble gets him into, um, trouble – like when Kid Rock decided to use the live, globally-televised MTV VMA awards this year to start a fight with Tommy Lee. However, despite everyone in the world seeing Kid Rock and Tommy Lee slapping each other like babies during the awards, police have announced that Kid Rock won’t be charged for the brawl, mainly because they need all their MTV VMA manpower to try and pin a charge of Miming With Intent To Appal on Britney Spears.

0 comments Read more >>>

Next Entries →