For some reason, we’ve credited you slobs with some intelligence. Christ knows why. We’ve read the comments you leave. Either way, some of you ain’t so bad. Some of you have probably only seen Jersey Shore out of morbid curiosity.

If you watched it, you probably thought ‘By Jove! This is faker than Kim Kardashian’s wedding!‘

If you’ve been watching the antics of Snooki & Co, thinking that it’s BLATES REAL (or whatever you wobbling colostomy bags say these days), then we’ve got news for you. And someone with more spare time has made a video which proves it. OKAY?

The scene in question concerns Snooki and Deena having a fight in a bar.

Remember that?

No, not THIS fight involving Snooki…

It’s a different one. That said, the above video looks grimly real. No, this one involved a hissy fit in a bar and it looked for all the world that a bartender lobbed ice at Snooki and Deena which saw them trashing the place.

Have a look.

It’s clearly all bollocks.

Legally, we should say that MTV’s response was “It’s all real, and we couldn’t make this all up.”

You don’t care do you?

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group if anyone is still daft enough to use it

Even though she’s got a body like the underside of a giant tortoise’s varnished stomach, Jodie Marsh is very happy with her new bodybuilder look. Very happy. Very, very happy.

In fact, Jodie ‘Oh Jesus Christ, It’s Like The Cuprinol Man Came To Life!’ Marsh is saying… with a completely straight face… that she’s feeling more attractive than ever.

Yes really.

Seeing as Jodie used to be a glamour model (now a woman clearly broken by the battle with Jordan/Katie Price/The Woman Who Made Peter Andre Cry), we should take note of her views on beauty. If anyone knows about all that, then it’s Jodie ‘Looks Like A Condom Full Of Conkers’ Marsh.

So now, we’ll all be wanting to look just like her, right?

Well, to achieve this look, we must follow her diet of egg whites and protein shakes while hitting the gymnasium, constantly.

Soon, we will all look like broken sideboards!

Says Jodie, with her massively muscular lower mandible:

‘I’m the prettiest I’ve ever looked’

‘If you’re not in the bodybuilding world it is scary, but to me it’s normal.

‘I think I still look really feminine.’

Jodie Marsh there, with her penis waggling around. And she’s going to keep this up. This isn’t some flight of fancy. Nosireebob!

‘I feel proud when I look in the mirror’

‘I still can’t believe it’s my body. Like, when I look at my abs, I’m just like, f*cking hell, I love it so much!’

Hands up if you can’t believe it either.

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or else we’ll kill you in your sleep or join our Facebook group if anyone is still daft enough to use it or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS OR WE’LL KILL EVERYONE YOU’VE EVER LOVED!

That Amanda Knox lass and her apparently non murdering ways have grabbed all the headlines this week. Which is a shame as this whole murder in Perugia fiasco has completely overshadowed the return of Jodie Marsh.

Some new photos of Jodie, the suspected inspiration for BBC 3 smash Snog, Marry, Avoid, have surfaced that show the former glam… OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?!

Seriously. Click over the jump for the fright of your life.

That’s right.

Jodie Marsh has gone from a back alley slag with too much fake tan and her knickers around her ankles to…

…well…

…the incredible hulk with too much fake tan and her knickers around her ankles.

Jodie’s apparently been lifting weights for a while in a bid to shed the pounds, but has taken it to the extreme so that she could compete in the Natural Physique Association British Championships.

Although we can’t help but notice that there are two very obvious parts of her physique that aren’t natural.

As ridiculous as she may look now, we can’t help but admire Jodie for her determination to lose weight and get fit for absolutely no prof…

Oh, she’s got a new show out called Jodie Marsh: Bodybuilder? Of course she has, at least it’s better than that time she tried got get married on MTV.

As you were.

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or else we’ll kill you in your sleep or join our Facebook group if anyone is still daft enough to use it or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS OR WE’LL KILL EVERYONE YOU’VE EVER LOVED!

Lady GaGa is a creature that loves wearing outlandish outfits, but seemingly, feels so restricted by clothes in general that she’s more than willing to tear them off at any given point, ensuring that just about everyone has seen her boobies.

And she’s at it again, flopping them out all over her ivories.

That’s right bap-fans – GaGa is getting them out again, this time while singing a jazzy (read ‘Bublesque’) version of her latest record, You & I. And yes, you can be disappointed in it over the jump.

In the black and white video, GaGa promotes the MTV VMA 2011 thingy, which means she strips off for… ummm… some art-school reason or other.

She’s right to tart one off for MTV though as they’re looking after her by tickling her ego and nominating her for four VMAs, including Best Female Video and Best Video With a Message for Born This Way, as well as Best Art Direction and Best Choreography for Judas.

But you’re not interested in any of that are you?

You just want to see some famous breasts don’t you? Or indeed, you just want to watch it to feel disappointed or angry about the state of the world.

Well here you go then.

Boobs.

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or else we’ll kill you in your sleep or join our Facebook group if anyone is still daft enough to use it or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS OR WE’LL KILL EVERYONE YOU’VE EVER LOVED!

You know Jersey Shore? That’s right – the thing you can blame dreck like Geordie Shore and The Only Way Is Essex on. Well, one of the stars of the show – The Situation – is a monumental penis who has somehow weaselled his way into the VIP section.

So all is well? Not quite.

See, while he’s the star of a hit MTV show, some people aren’t so taken with him. Despite the free advertising that comes with appearing on a widely watched show, Abercrombie & Fitch have posted a statement on their website asking Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino to stop wearing their clothes. That’s how much they hate him.

A&F say:

“We are deeply concerned that Mr. Sorrentino’s association with our brand could cause significant damage to our image”

Okay.

“We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans.”

Distressing? Really? What kind of simpering, spineless wimp wears Abercrombie & Fitch clothes then? The kind that feel distress when someone they don’t like buys the same clothes as them? Jesus Christ on a bike.

“We have therefore offered a substantial payment to Michael ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino and the producers of MTV’s The Jersey Shore to have the character wear an alternate brand. We have also extended this offer to other members of the cast, and are urgently waiting a response.”

Wait. So A&F are offering money to people to NOT wear their clothes? Can we, the team of ‘spray degenerates, also have money? We’ll accept money to never buy your clothes, even in the past.

Seems like we’ve got an Abercrombie & Fitchuation on our hands.

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!

Hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur. Cool. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh hehehehe hmngh hehehehehehe. ‘Rules. Hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur. Dumbass.

If you’re from the ’90s, then you’ll know that all articles concerning Beavis and Butthead must use the conjecture that they displayed in their excellent and often baffling MTV cartoon series.

This pair of slackers preceded the Jackass generation with a mixture of snotty rock, fondness for mindless destruction and laughing at stoopid shit. And now, they’re coming back to do it all over again.

MTV has announced that that the likeable-but-disgusting duo are coming back to the small screen in October 2011. Mike Judge, the show’s creator, has been confirmed to be writing new episodes as well as returning to voice the two characters.

Hopefully, he’ll push the show on a little, having been behind the magnificent King of the Hill.

And the new footage of the show looks like something of a return to form, with Beavis finding himself in terrible agony having a screw through his hand and… well… starting a religious cult by accident.

Of course, the pair are still hugely inept and sporting their grotty metal t-shirts. And still no parental supervision. Good. Just how we like it.

Instead of talking about it, shall we just watch it instead?

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!

Back when we were just writing swear words on our parent’s walls in crayon, MTV did provide us with some light musical relief. Alongside the mundane pop dross, there were some gems to be found. The programme most likely to fill you with a mix of Scandanavian indie and wobbly acid grooves was 120 Minutes. Only problem was that it was broadcast in the early hours of Sunday morning.

So for the insomniacs, 120 Minutes was a mix of uncommercial sounds and experimental videos that wouldn’t have been broadcast during the day. Just look at certain Sqaurepusher and Mogwai promos.

In an age where music is being broadcast to a wider audience via the internet, you’d expect MTV to do the same. But no, they instead decided to shun the show for moronic programming which, over time, has diluted the channel to such an extent that hardly any music videos are played. But this hasn’t stopped the network from holding its annual VMA ceremony.

As per any award ceremony like, you can usually predict the nominees without any genuine surprise. The only real music award with any degree of honour attached to it was The Mercury Music awards as they vaguely attempt to hunt out a deserving winner as opposed to a commercial selling achiever. But with a list comprising of previous winners and nominees with the usual outsiders who stand no chance due to their obscurity in the public domain (sorry Ghost Poet), we’re not inspired. British electronic music has made a resurgence over the last year, but it has been sadly overlooked, apart from Katy B. But she attended the Brit school, so her nomination is of no surprise.

The nominees are all artists who currently have records out or have released something within in the last few months. Similar names keep on cropping up that include; stage invading Kanye West, pyrotechnic tits Lady Gaga, worst excuse for a rock band ever – Mumford & Sons and painfully annoying Katy Perry.

But whilst we sound like pensioners with our hearing aids set to ‘complain’, not being able to understand what the yoof of today listen to, the hecklerspray bedsit does have an unsavoury love for Nicki Minaj. It might be our naïve thinking, but here in Blighty, she doesn’t appear to have such a massive following like in Uncle Sam’s burger munching US of A.

She is one of the new wave of female rappers that’s taken the baton from musicians like Lil Kim and generally made hip-hop/rap fun, accessible and engaging. Observe:

It remains to be seen if Minaj will walk away with a trophy that’s wrapped in tinfoil. If the VMAs continue to be based on popularity rather than quality, then you’ll end up seeing bucktoothed hip-hop chipmunk Chris Brown walk away with some gongs.

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!

Unlike Muse fans who all collectively whine and moan, you can place Radiohead fans in to a few different categories. The majority fall under this tag that know nothing but Creep from debut album Pablo Honey and also wonder why it rarely gets played. Your traditionalist Radiohead fan will refuse to listen to anything after OK Computer, due to the band seemingly shunning guitars for electronics.

This literally divides the third set of Radiohead fans who love concept of fusing two sounds together to make something new.

Of course, there will always be the hardcore fan who owns every album and EP, including the pricey Japanese editions with no extra content. Recently, the band released The King Of Limbs, their eighth album. Noticeably shorter than previous efforts, fans have been speculating over future content that may arrive.

They weren’t wrong; a two track 12” appeared on Record Store Day and as part of an exclusive BBC sessions, Thom Yorke and his troops have debuted an unreleased song that was presumably recorded during the sessions for The King Of Limbs.

There aren’t many decent live music shows on TV anymore. We once had Top Of The Pops which featured a mix of crap presenting, music videos and mimed live performances. MTV once had some credibility, but now its standards have lowered to he point that its primary output is vomiting morons on Jersey Shore.

Step forward the trusty old BBC to give music lovers a program which showcases musicians in an intimate setting without any annoying adverts or drivel like on Sky Arts. ‘From The Basement’ is a program for music anoraks to enjoy their favourite artist whilst ignorantly scorning those who don’t get the supposed high class values that the program is attempting to establish.

Radiohead haven’t performed a single live date since releasing The King Of Limbs. So this previously announced broadcast had already caused wide spread joy and wet dreams amongst fans. In an event which is rare for any mainstream act these days, the album would be played in its entirety – though we assume they’ll be some talking inbetween as all musicians like their own voice.

Interestingly, the upcoming performance hasn’t been teased by chopping together a few seconds of footage from various songs from the album and condensing in to a thirty second montage. Instead, Radiohead have decided to show us that they have plenty more songs locked away. Staircase is a new song from the band, even though Thom Yorke played a solo version of it last year in New York. Getting bored of our words yet? Watch the performance below:

Will a follow up to The King Of Limbs be in the works? All the signs are pointing in the right direction with fresh material coming through every other week. If anything does get released, we imagine it’ll be given a tedious name like The Prince Of Limbs or The Kings Of Making Limp music. By us. Probably.

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!

Remember when MTV almost fooled us all into thinking it was genuinely cool? The station broke music acts and rode the tide of teenage taste, helping Nirvana to become global superstars and giving European kids their scant taste of hip-hop with Yo! MTV Raps!

And then it stopped bothering with the music and made stars from more unabashed simpletons in a series of cod-reality shows, leaving its musical output at little more than the whistling jingle from McDonald’s commercials.

Basically, it went from pleasingly trashy to outright ugly. And you only have to look at the cynical teenspeak of the categories for the MTV Movie Awards to see why. Instead of being a viable alternative to stuffy film academies, they’re not braying marketeers, pushing things like ‘Best Scared-As-Sh*t Performance’ and ‘Biggest Badass Star’. And Justin Bieber managed to bag the coveting gong of, wait for it, ‘Best Jaw-Dropping Moment’.

We don’t blame you if you are under the impression that we made those categories up, but we didn’t. It makes us weary that we didn’t.

And in an obviously orchestrated event, Bieber collected his award (which, Kenneth Branagh is said to be hoping to win next year) when HE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE THERE!

Basically, the menstrual minstrel wasn’t in the crowd, leaving a bunch of pink faced teenifans with prominent bottle lips all a quiver.

Aziz Ansari (nope, us neither) opened the envelope, ignored the other nominees (127 Hours, Black Swan and Inception) cried when revealing Bieber’s name:

“He’s not here! He’s not here!”

Then, like magic, Justin appeared stage-left wearing an awful electric blue Miami Vice blazer and some blind man’s sunglasses, causing the audience to erupt like a long, pink, hairless cannon. He then  stood in swirling stage fog, reminding us all that proper talent doesn’t need dry ice.

Good singers don’t mind showing their feet do they?

Sadly, this story doesn’t end with a piece of light-rigging falling from the rafters, splitting the singing infant’s head open right down the middle like a watermelon with a hatchet in it.

You’ll just have to imagine that bit yourself.

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!

Snooki – a cross between a shaved Har Mar Superstar and a tin of off-creosote – is, once again, being filmed for some vapid, gaspingly bad television programme for MTV, the music channel that doesn’t show any music videos.

And while shooting (with cameras, not guns sadly) the fourth season of Jersey Shore this weekend, good ol’ Snooki managed to crash into a police car that was accompanying them, injuring two officers.

The astonishing thing there is, of course, that Snooki has enough faculties to actually have a legal driving license. Beggars belief.

Everyone was in Florence, Italy for the new series, for reasons which are unclear and presumably, of little importance to anyone, including those appearing in the show.

Whatever the reason, Snooki has ended up ramming two cops and now they’re in hospital with minor injuries. Once they heard Snooki talking, they allegedly asked a doctor if they could be given some ‘major injuries’ as life didn’t seem to be worth living anymore, in a world where three-inch tall morons are paraded like stars.

Snooki, not one for being the centre of attention, tried to cover her face as she was questioned about the crash. A crash that, obviously, will feature in the final cut of an episode of Jersey Shore.

And to think that the traffic police vehicle which was hit by Snooki was only travelling with them in order to give the cast and crew the chance to be able to travel around more easily.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!

New Jersey is having something of a state crisis. There’s a $112.3 billion funding gap for next year according to the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities. Worse than that is House Republicans are planning on pushing through a plan to cut off further funding which will take away a further $32 billion.

Granted, that’s not your typical opener for a hecklerspray article, but digest those shoddily researched figures for a moment before considering this:

A New Jersey state university called Rutgers paid $32,000 of tax-payers money Snooki to give a speech about partying. Brilliant.

Yep. You read that right. The tottering orange ballsack from MTV show Jersey Shore was paid a big wodge of cold, hard cash to speak at 2,000 students who either loved the whole thing in a hootingly ironic way or sat there, wishing someone would lop the top of their heads off and feast on their weary brains.

The Q&A session covered some important topics of course.

The advice given to these poor shites included “when you’re tan, you feel better about yourself” as well as “study hard, but party harder.”

At the time of press, we can’t confirm if Snooki covered the whole ‘take your trousers off before defecating’ thing.

The best bit of this news is that Snooki received a whole $2,000 more than Nobel-Prize winner Tonie Morrison will get when they appear for this year’s commencement address.

Tax payers of New Jersey are, quite understandably, thrilled and not prowling the streets looking for someone to beat senseless with lumps of wood… or, alternatively, they could put their trust in this crying resident of New Jersey who wants to raise property taxes.

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!

Even though it’s only February, we’ve already been treated to a couple of music awards. Within the space of forty eight hours, we’d seen our American chums dish out awards at The Grammys and back in more homely surrounds, London’s O2 arena was used to host The Brit Awards.

Asides from different hosts and performances, both ceremonies were roughly the same. E.g. winners, performers and happy cocaine dealers.

Nobody these days dares promote experimental sounds and the trophies picked up are usually by the same acts that’ll only use them as doorsteps. What we need is something where bands are rewarded based on the merit of their talents, not sales.

Unusually, it appears that MTV are leaping to the defence of music by embracing the new digital age with an online based music awards. Here it seems they’ll be more categories than just “sexiest female.”

Once upon a time, MTV used to be seen as a leader in broadcasting music. Instead of being caught up in celebrity gossip like it is now, all sorts of music would be played, encouraging viewers to indulge in a bit of metal, hip hop and whatever else took their fancy.

Flagship shows such as 120 Minutes gave alternative and underground artists the chance to showcase their work and reach a wider audience. The same show also allowed creative types to demonstrate their directing and animating skills showcasing talent across other mediums.

Alas, those days are gone as programmes like Pimp My Ride, Cribs and My Super Sweet 16 have taken over. All of these shows are basically the same. Either we’ll see some idiot, who doesn’t deserve anything, showcase their wealth and rub it in your face or some under-appreciative brat will get all teary eyed because their brand new car that’s worth more than your house isn’t the right shade of blue.

So what’s happening exactally?

“MTV is naming its new digital music awards the OMAs – and leaving the ‘O’ up for grabs. The network’s O Music Awards will take place on April 28, with MTV leaving the ‘O’ open to interpretation from viewers. The network said the awards “honour the migration of music to the digital space, and celebrate the art, artistry and technology of digital music.”

Just like the invention of iTunes, this seems nothing more than a professional body of individuals thinking of a concept for something that has been around for ages. Let’s think about it shall we?

In the beginning there was Napster, an illegal P2P file sharing system where songs could be painstakingly downloaded on a 56k dial up connection. Countless others came along and only when the music industry realised they were losing money was it decided that illegal music downloaders were naughty people who needed their wrists slapped. iTunes was the first real legal way of downloading music legitimately but convincing people to pay for otherwise free content? As you thought, something of an uphill battle.

The OMAs seems slow off the mark in terms of embracing the digital age. We guess that social interaction is being encouraged here so that voters will get the chance to pick the mystery O in the awards title. There is a horrible, sneaking suspicion that this may just be exactly the same as every other award ceremony with The Arcade Fire bagging gongs, but we live in hope.

MTV could be on to a winner if they go about it the right way. Emphasis needs to be focussed on the polar opposite of what we’re used to now. Small record labels need to be honoured, alternative festivals praised and sub genres given recognition. Okay, the current penchant for dubstep may die in a year, but why not honour those making the songs that have influenced artists in pop culture such as Britney Spears?

So MTV, when can we expect our invite?

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!

Everybody makes mistakes in life, from eating food that has just gone past its sell by date to fancying your mates mum that little bit too much. We are said to learn from the errors of our ways, but if you’re MTV UK, it seems that you’ll constantly fail to come up with original British programming and instead make piss poor copies of shows broadcast in America.

We’ve seen it all before with “My Super Sweet 16”, “Cribs” and “Pimp My Ride” failing to make the mark. ITV even botched an attempt at cloning “The Hills” in its dreary version of “The Only Way Is Essex.”

If you’re a fan of high quality programming, you might want to smash your TV in a fit of rage as MTV UK have decided to remake “Jersey Shore” for the British market. The glamorous location chosen? Newcastle upon Tyne, giving the program the terrible title, “Geordie Shore.”

If Jesus had invented TV, he’d be weeping in to his bloody hands [Jesus DID invent TV - for our sins, Ed.].

We’ve all accidently witnessed Jersey Shore -  a programme which features a host of characters that seem to have come to life from a waxwork museum and slightly melted in the sun. Complete with stupid accents, names and clothes, the comedy characters spend their time getting drunk, starting fights and trying to shag anything that generally walks.

In Jersey, where the American version is staged, they have sun, sea and sex. When it arrives in Newcastle, expect to see storm clouds, constant rain and awkward fumbles in nightclubs.

The Guardian reports that MTV said it chose to base the series in the north-east because:

“Its residents know how to have a good time come rain or shine.”Jersey Shore is set in the summer and it is always summer in the north-east,” said Kerry Taylor, the director of television for MTV Networks UK and Ireland. “No one wears a coat and Geordie girls are always out in their miniskirts.”

Basically then, the camera really want to film nothing but girls flashing their bits in dresses that could also be classed as belts. It also helps that the nation’s sweetheart, highest profile malaria sufferer and divorcee to a footballer hails from Newcastle. Hooray for Cheryl Cole who took over as the most popular female from the North-East after Viz’s Fat Slags characters held the crown for decades.

We know what this means. Scores of girls will attempt to work the camera to vaguely fool the viewer that they’re all worth it like Cheryl Cole. With the series being staged in Newcastle, we assume the following scenarios will occur to some of the people set to star in Geordie Shore:

Trouble On The Tyne – Following a report that a school of fish has been spotted swimming in the River Tyne, a few of the group cast off to catch some of the critters so they can be sold to Fred the local fish monger. However, trouble occurs when the engine stops working and someone falls overboard when they attempt to solve the problem. Whatever will happen?

Stottie Off – It’s a well known fact that to become a fully fledged Geordie, natives must complete in a stottie eating competition at a certain age. To those not in the know of what a stottie is, it’s a local delicacy that normal people call bread. Five people compete to win the title of “Stottie Stomacher”, knowing that if they lose, they’ll be locked in a padded cell being forced to constantly listen to the greatest hits of PJ & Duncan for sixty five days.

Fun In The Erm…Sun – In Newcastle, the sun shines for approximately three days a year, meaning that any vain locals won’t get a chance to top up their tan. Instead of picking a warm natural glow from Mr. Sunshine, anyone wanting to get away from a skin tone reminiscent of milk either fry themselves under power lamps in tanning salons, or turn themselves orange thanks to the power of fake tan. No doubt all sorts of top tips will be shared so you the viewer can mimic the appearance of a Satsuma suffering the same skin problems as Michael Jackson.

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!

Hybrid of Har Mar Superstar and the thing that comes out of the screen in the Ring film, Nicole Polizzi of Jersey Shore, has reached the point of being utterly sick and tired of… well… herself. Now, this isn’t going to end up in some kind of suicide bid, where she finds herself on a rooftop threatening to chuck herself off and into the blades of a passing combine harvester.

Rather, she’s pretty bored of her own nickname. Her nickname is Snooki if you were wondering and, no, it isn’t a reference to how good she is at clocking 147 breaks on the baize.

The Thing That Occupies Valuable Fame Space says that, while the name undoubtedly helped her to be kinda famous, she’s thinks that it is all a bit old and now, she misses being called by her name… which of course means that people will now shout “Oi! Nicole Polizzi! I’ve seen you on TV! You dick!”

She said she misses people calling her by her real name… she misses being called Nicole:

“I miss my real name. I miss people calling me Nicole”

See? So why then, would you put ‘Snooki’ on the front of your new book (‘A Shore Thing’, available in the 9p bargain bin at all good bookshops) then? You’d only do that if you were toweringly thick, right?

Either way, if you’re excited at the prospect of a Snooki Booki, then the story revolves around a young lady called Gia and her cousin Isabella who go to the shore with the hopes of having, like, totally the best summer, like, ever!

If you can’t even begin to imagine that you’d be arsed reading a book written by someone called Snooki, then rest assured, you could watch some of the awful Jersey Shore and look at the ‘bond’ between Snooki and co-star Jenni Farley aka J Woww.

Apparently, the book is based on their friendship but sadly, not their preposterous nicknames.

We’re off to get punched in the face by one of the ‘stars’ of the show and, hopefully, we’ll get a book deal where we chronicle the days of bitter, jaundiced bloggers who find fulfilment while shitting into a football sock.

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!

We admit it, we’re just pretending to care what Victoria Beckham thinks. We’re really only amused that she has slated another person’s style. In a manner that says, ‘Love me, I still wear weird things too’.

Remember when every one used to care what hair clips the former Spice Girl wore? No? Nor do we. But we have it on good authority that she used to be trendy and every up-and-coming fashionista would look to her for what to wear.

She was the face of credible high fashion brands. And she was successfully pushing her own lines. Then it all went dark. Or something.

She was suddenly less interesting. Being swapped out in fashion campaigns like a post-pubescent kid on a daytime soap opera. No one was talking about her clothing any more. And she didn’t have quite the power to brainwash the masses that she used to. The former singer seems a little bitter about this. That’s just our observation, based on a recent quote Victoria gave about Lady Gaga.

Lady Gaga is the new oddly-dressed kid on the block; she’s the trendsetter, who makes as many headlines for wearing a weird pair of shoes as she does for anything else. BREAKING: Lady Gaga  is wearing a slightly wackier pair of 9-inch heels than she was yesterday, shocker.

In a last ditch attempt to draw attention back to her over-priced jeans and the like, Victoria pointed out the following (via Grazia).

“I have a lot of respect that she can walk in those shoes going through airports. I mean, goodness, people think I dress up to go to an airport! I think she’s really doing her thing. That’s her,” Victoria told WWD.  “If I’m being completely honest, is it fair to say she may have become a little bit of a parody of herself? Is that fair to say?”

As though, and let’s be blunt, the same is not true about Victoria. She became a parody of herself somewhere in between selling her soul to Prada and that desperate ham-fisted breaking America thing she did a few years back.

Except Lady Gaga is still fairly new at this. And she’s still somewhat interesting to look at. And her shoes are almost always wackier.

This was a guest post by Amy Grindhouse, so hooray for that.