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WTF was with Ansel Elgort at the VMAs?

August 31st, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Here’s the thing: I know very little about Ansel Elgort. I know he was in that weepy teen drama ‘The Fault in our Stars’ because my sister and cousin are both pretty into John Greene’s books. Upon further investigation I learned he’s 22-years-old and also starred in those allegedly terrible ‘Divergent’ movies and the ‘Carrie’ remake, so I guess he’s some sort of teen star?

You might be wondering: Krysta, if you’ve never actually seen an Ansel Elgort movie and know nothing about him, why the sudden interest and research? The answer is simple: when some random kid shows up to the MTV VMAs in 2016 dressed like a member of My Chemical Romance circa 2003, I can’t help but wonder: who IS this douche bag?

The MTV VMAs were a Major Letdown

August 29th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

If you follow this blog at all, you’ll know that I was majorly jazzed for the MTV Video Music Awards last night. I had my series of fun predictions over what might happen and for the first time in 9 years, I was genuinely excited to watch this shit.

However, instead of fulfilling ANY of my expectations, I instead sat back and watched my youth fucking DIE on stage. Sure, it had some good parts (the whole show was shameless in its blackness, Beyonce was fire as always, and she won video of the year so that was cool), but for the most part it was pure, childhood-crushing shit.

Tonight’s MTV VMAs Could Be Huge

August 28th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

So, as you might have been able to tell from my recent posts, I’m kind of jazzed about tonight’s MTV Video Music Awards. This is not a common thing. From the years 1995 – 2004, I was definitely always jazzed for them, but then I kind of got over it. In fact, the last time I was pumped for a VMAs was 2007 when Britney Spears gave her HORRIFIC ‘comeback’ performance.

I have not been excited for a VMAs until now. After 9 years of so-so shit, where the most interesting thing to happen on the VMAs stage was a drunk Kanye West snatching the mic from Taylor Swift, tonight’s VMAs has the potential to be legendary. Let me explain why.

10 Best MTV VMA Moments (So Far)

August 27th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

The MTV Video Music Awards are tomorrow, so I’ve been celebrating it by posting some sweet lists to relive its rich cultural history. Yesterday I looked at some of the best vma outfits, today I’m going to take a walk down memory lane and remind you all of some of my favorite vma moments.

So while Drake is busy taking out billboards to celebrate Rihanna’s Vanguard award at this year’s ceremony (what’s the deal with their relationship?! Will we ever get the truth??), I’m going to force some of my favorite MTV memories on you.

10 Best MTV VMA Outfits of All Time

August 26th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

So, the MTV Video Music Awards are coming up this Sunday, and I have been watching this shit for legit 20 years which makes me feel old af. In celebration of me watching my 20th MTV Video Music Awards ceremony, I decided to spend this weekend looking back on some fond memories of mine.

Today, I’m going to look back at 10 of my favorite outfits from the VMAs over the years. I mean, I say the best outfits of all time, but I obviously mean since like 1995. Yes, I realize the awards have been around since like ’84, but I wasn’t alive then and MTV didn’t exist to me til ’95 so, you know, deal with it.

Ice Cube Is A Cold Hearted Bitch

April 16th, 2014 By Megan Leitch

At one point in history, Ice Cube was a scary ass gangsta rapper who would probably shoot you in the face if you looked at him the wrong way.? Now though, he stars in movies?that involve him getting in whacky antics with children on long car rides and crap.? It’s a major step down in the toughness department.

Maybe this explains?why Ice felt the need to be such a dick and take the MTV Movie Awards way too seriously this past weekend.? But I gotta say, puffing up your chest about?losing an award from?a show where the highlight was Zac Efron taking his shirt off doesn’t?exactly scream “hard” to me.

Goonies Mini-Reunion Outshines Corey Feldman’s New Music Vid

July 3rd, 2013 By Chris Chambers

Lured?by a potent combo of residual childhood affection,?a twisted?masochist instinct, and, most importantly, the promise of a Goonies mini-reunion, I found myself?watching MTV’s premiere of the music video for Corey Feldman?s new song.

Yes, Corey Feldman. While it wasn’t quite as?terrible as I expected it to be, the video was pretty fucking bad … like an overly-staged episode of “Cribs” on fast forward.?The song itself, called “Ascension Millennium,”?was way synthesized.?And The Goonies bit was too short.

It’s hard for me to criticize a Corey, so let’s start with the best part of the video:?a very brief cameo by Corey?s Goonies co-star, Sean Astin. Before?Sean was Samwise, he was Mikey, my asthmatic, treasure-seeking?boyfriend.

Rihanna Ruins Hot Body With Ugly Under-Boob Tattoo

September 12th, 2012 By Chris Starr

‘Skank’ is a fine line to walk. I know – I have women friends. They will spend hours deciding whether an outfit is just slutty enough without going over the boundary into looking like a two-bit prostitute. Up until this week, Rihanna was just the right side of skank.

She managed to look just rough enough that you wouldn’t feel like you were going to become ill from kissing her, but too dirty to imagine taking her home to your parents. It was great. But then she ruined it.

Snooki Is Pregnant And Engaged – The World Is Broken

March 6th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Imagine for a moment, waking up in a bed, having willingly had sex with Jersey Shore star, Snooki. Once you’d scraped off 8 gallons of fake-tan residue off your stomach, you’d then need to start scrubbing the shame off yourself with wire-wool.

Only then can you start thinking about the fact you rogered Snooks without a condom on and that she was starting the process of harvesting a symbiotic thing inside her orange abdomen.

And then you see the engagement ring on her finger. You bought it for her. You remember proposing. You start to reevaluate your life and give in to that crippling tide of gloom that rises from your weakened knees, all the way into your nauseated stomach. Somewhere, all this translates into a single, solitary tear on your cheek. The world, it seems, is a cruel and unforgiving place and you’re stuck like Sysiphus.

Video That Confirms That Jersey Shore Is A Giant Fake

November 3rd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

For some reason, we’ve credited you slobs with some intelligence. Christ knows why. We’ve read the comments you leave. Either way, some of you ain’t so bad. Some of you have probably only seen Jersey Shore out of morbid curiosity.

If you watched it, you probably thought ‘By Jove! This is faker than Kim Kardashian’s wedding!‘

If you’ve been watching the antics of Snooki & Co, thinking that it’s BLATES REAL (or whatever you wobbling colostomy bags say these days), then we’ve got news for you. And someone with more spare time has made a video which proves it. OKAY?