If it's not soaring petrol costs, immigrants stealing all the crap jobs that no-one wants or obesity, then there’s always one story on TV - bloody global warming and our apparently massive carbon footprint.

While the USA, China, India and other big fuck off countries do nothing to force their citizens into any vague ecological action, it’s the UK that suffers. Rubbish pop stars and crap celebrities rally round to try and make us believe they give a shit and shake off any twatty image they may have.

How do they do this? That's right, by song. Which is why indie twig Johnny Borrell is going to environmentally gig it up with a band made up of MPs. Maybe they’ll cover the cost by putting it on their expenses.