Articles tagged with: movie
Top 28 Horror Movie Villains
With Halloween just around the corner we thought we would get into the spirit. Well, come up with the worst villains in horror movie history at least. If horror movies have taught us anything, it is that we are all sick bastards. Sorry, we mean it tells us that all like to be scared out of our wits. That's it. We take absolutely no sick pleasure from teenagers being eaten, cut to pieces or burnt alive – it's all about the thrill of being frightened. But, of course, the best horror villains don't tend to be the ones we are afraid of. They are the ones we actually quite like. Unstoppable serial killers, frazzled up kiddie-fiddlers and maniacal dolls are just some of the anti-heroes idolised by horror fans the world over. We just can't get enough of them, it seems. Now, if you wanted to really get scared, we suggest you make movies about global warming, nuclear holocaust or John McCain. Anyway, enjoy.
With Halloween just around the corner we thought we would get into the spirit. Well, come up with the worst villains in horror movie history at least. If horror movies have taught us anything, it is that we are all sick bastards. Sorry, we mean it tells us that all like to be scared out of our wits. That's it. We take absolutely no sick pleasure from teenagers being eaten, cut to pieces or burnt alive – it's all about the thrill of being frightened. But, of course, the best horror villains don't tend to be the ones we are afraid of. They are the ones we actually quite like. Unstoppable serial killers, frazzled up kiddie-fiddlers and maniacal dolls are just some of the anti-heroes idolised by horror fans the world over. We just can't get enough of them, it seems. Now, if you wanted to really get scared, we suggest you make movies about global warming, nuclear holocaust or John McCain. Anyway, enjoy.
Matt Damon Signs For Bourne 4: The Bourne Senility
Here's some advance warning - Matt Damon and Paul Greengrass are making a fourth Bourne film, so stock up on the motion sickness pills while you still can. That's right - although The Bourne Ultimatum seemed to end with a satisfyingly piece of trilogy closure, you can now be pretty sure it didn't. Bourne 4 is on the way and there's nothing anybody can do about it. Best of all, Bourne 4 will be the first Bourne film not to be based on a Robert Ludlum novel. Phew, finally we won't have to worry about plot or character development or anything - just endless scenes of Matt Damon jumping across buildings and arbitrarily punching people while being filmed by what appears to be a drunk Parkinson's sufferer trying to operate a pneumatic drill on a trampoline on a boat in a storm. Perfect.
Here's some advance warning - Matt Damon and Paul Greengrass are making a fourth Bourne film, so stock up on the motion sickness pills while you still can. That's right - although The Bourne Ultimatum seemed to end with a satisfyingly piece of trilogy closure, you can now be pretty sure it didn't. Bourne 4 is on the way and there's nothing anybody can do about it. Best of all, Bourne 4 will be the first Bourne film not to be based on a Robert Ludlum novel. Phew, finally we won't have to worry about plot or character development or anything - just endless scenes of Matt Damon jumping across buildings and arbitrarily punching people while being filmed by what appears to be a drunk Parkinson's sufferer trying to operate a pneumatic drill on a trampoline on a boat in a storm. Perfect.
Muppets To Murder Each Other In Weird New Movie
We've all, at one point or another, fantasised about stamping on Elmo's throat just to stop him referring to himself in the third-person. But that's probably as far as Muppet murder has ever got. But that can all change now, because The Jim Henson Co has decided to make a movie about - and this isn't a joke - an alcoholic, murder-solving puppet detective on the hunt for a killer in a world where puppets and humans coexist. The movie - The Happytime Murders - is said to have dark adult themes and won't be suitable for children. What's more, it's apparently based on the time that Big Bird got wrecked on crack and went mental with a hedge-trimmer up Mr Snuffleupagus' rectum. Ah, the 1980s.
We've all, at one point or another, fantasised about stamping on Elmo's throat just to stop him referring to himself in the third-person. But that's probably as far as Muppet murder has ever got. But that can all change now, because The Jim Henson Co has decided to make a movie about - and this isn't a joke - an alcoholic, murder-solving puppet detective on the hunt for a killer in a world where puppets and humans coexist. The movie - The Happytime Murders - is said to have dark adult themes and won't be suitable for children. What's more, it's apparently based on the time that Big Bird got wrecked on crack and went mental with a hedge-trimmer up Mr Snuffleupagus' rectum. Ah, the 1980s.
Top 10 Movie Losers
Losers are everywhere. It’s a scientific fact and the silver screen has had its fair share over the years. Last week How To Lose Friends and Alienate People was released in the cinemas, putting another loser on the big screen in the form of Simon Pegg's Sidney Young. In a move that's totally non-affiliated with that film, we here at hecklerspray have decided to compile together a list of a bunch of losers, that one way or another, have given us greats amount of joy over the years in the cinema. Maybe it’s because we’re better than them, maybe it’s because it gives us hope or maybe they are just too cool in a world that doesn’t appreciate them, either way, here we go…
Losers are everywhere. It’s a scientific fact and the silver screen has had its fair share over the years. Last week How To Lose Friends and Alienate People was released in the cinemas, putting another loser on the big screen in the form of Simon Pegg's Sidney Young. In a move that's totally non-affiliated with that film, we here at hecklerspray have decided to compile together a list of a bunch of losers, that one way or another, have given us greats amount of joy over the years in the cinema. Maybe it’s because we’re better than them, maybe it’s because it gives us hope or maybe they are just too cool in a world that doesn’t appreciate them, either way, here we go…
Yogi Bear: The Movie, Inexplicably Coming Quite Soon
Of all the anthropomorphic hat-wearing cartoon bears who consistently overestimate their own intelligence, Yogi Bear is probably the one that deserves his own film the most. In which case, get ready to be excited. Warner Bros is putting together a live action/CG hybrid movie based on Yogi Bear. Although it's still early days, the studio is hoping that the Yogi Bear movie will replicate the success of Alvin & The Chipmunks and Garfield: A Tale Of Two Kitties, in that children will quite like it even though it's obvious to everyone else that it couldn't be any worse if it had a farting nun in it. But however it turns out, there's no doubt that this Yogi Bear movie will be better than the 1982 fully live action Yogi Bear movie that ended in tragic circumstances when, enraged by the hat and restricting collar it was forced to wear, the grizzly playing Yogi Bear lashed out and horrifically mauled Ranger Smith to death. Those images of Boo Boo tearing lumps from Smith's disemboweled thigh won't be forgotten in a hurry.
Of all the anthropomorphic hat-wearing cartoon bears who consistently overestimate their own intelligence, Yogi Bear is probably the one that deserves his own film the most. In which case, get ready to be excited. Warner Bros is putting together a live action/CG hybrid movie based on Yogi Bear. Although it's still early days, the studio is hoping that the Yogi Bear movie will replicate the success of Alvin & The Chipmunks and Garfield: A Tale Of Two Kitties, in that children will quite like it even though it's obvious to everyone else that it couldn't be any worse if it had a farting nun in it. But however it turns out, there's no doubt that this Yogi Bear movie will be better than the 1982 fully live action Yogi Bear movie that ended in tragic circumstances when, enraged by the hat and restricting collar it was forced to wear, the grizzly playing Yogi Bear lashed out and horrifically mauled Ranger Smith to death. Those images of Boo Boo tearing lumps from Smith's disemboweled thigh won't be forgotten in a hurry.
All Blind People Furious At Movie About Some Blind People
Being blind must be horrible - as well as being constantly vulnerable, you'd never be able to experience the delight of 2 Girls 1 Cup. What's more, people think they can make movies about you and just get away with it. Well they can't. The National Federation Of The Blind in America is planning to protest the release of new movie Blindness because of what it claims is its unfair portrayal of the blind. Upset by these accusations, Miramax - the studio behind Blindness - has agreed to make some changes to the movie prior to its release. Unfortunately for the blind, these changes include the insertion of a 10-minute sequence featuring the legend 'ALL BLIND PEOPLE ARE RUBBISH' and the entire cast of Blindness all dancing around silently, pulling spaz faces and getting their bums out.
Being blind must be horrible - as well as being constantly vulnerable, you'd never be able to experience the delight of 2 Girls 1 Cup. What's more, people think they can make movies about you and just get away with it. Well they can't. The National Federation Of The Blind in America is planning to protest the release of new movie Blindness because of what it claims is its unfair portrayal of the blind. Upset by these accusations, Miramax - the studio behind Blindness - has agreed to make some changes to the movie prior to its release. Unfortunately for the blind, these changes include the insertion of a 10-minute sequence featuring the legend 'ALL BLIND PEOPLE ARE RUBBISH' and the entire cast of Blindness all dancing around silently, pulling spaz faces and getting their bums out.
George Clooney To Allegedly Play Pension-ish Lone Ranger
In olden times our fathers, and our father's fathers were all taught a strict moral code by the Lone Ranger. That moral code is that it's ok to enslave good natured American Indians if it's for the cause of justice, and if the act of doing so helps end low-budget criminal activity in any of its usual forms. This is a lesson that was taught over and over again - first on the radio, then on television. As Indian sidekick rental prices began to skyrocket, however, it's a lesson that was soon forgotten. Not for long though - because if recent rumors are to be believed - George Clooney is about to revive the Lone Ranger on the big screen. Some of the brains behind the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise are apparently behind it.
In olden times our fathers, and our father's fathers were all taught a strict moral code by the Lone Ranger. That moral code is that it's ok to enslave good natured American Indians if it's for the cause of justice, and if the act of doing so helps end low-budget criminal activity in any of its usual forms. This is a lesson that was taught over and over again - first on the radio, then on television. As Indian sidekick rental prices began to skyrocket, however, it's a lesson that was soon forgotten. Not for long though - because if recent rumors are to be believed - George Clooney is about to revive the Lone Ranger on the big screen. Some of the brains behind the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise are apparently behind it.
Kenneth Branagh Wants To Direct Thor
When you think of films about disabled medical students who touch magical hammers and become crime-fighting Norse gods, the first name that springs to mind is obviously Kenneth Branagh. Isn't it? It isn't? In fact Kenneth Branagh would probably be one of the last people you'd associate with something that brawny and gormless? Well tell that to Marvel, because they're currently in talks with Kenneth Branagh about their new Thor movie. In short, Kenneth Branagh wants to direct Thor. Kenneth Branagh directing a summertime comic book movie like Thor might sound slightly ridiculous, but the idea has potential - with any luck Branagh will turn Thor into a cross between his modern-day romantic musical interpretation of Love's Labour Lost and that Frankenstein movie where he made Robert De Niro dress up like Sloth from The Goonies and run around the north pole. Ace!
When you think of films about disabled medical students who touch magical hammers and become crime-fighting Norse gods, the first name that springs to mind is obviously Kenneth Branagh. Isn't it? It isn't? In fact Kenneth Branagh would probably be one of the last people you'd associate with something that brawny and gormless? Well tell that to Marvel, because they're currently in talks with Kenneth Branagh about their new Thor movie. In short, Kenneth Branagh wants to direct Thor. Kenneth Branagh directing a summertime comic book movie like Thor might sound slightly ridiculous, but the idea has potential - with any luck Branagh will turn Thor into a cross between his modern-day romantic musical interpretation of Love's Labour Lost and that Frankenstein movie where he made Robert De Niro dress up like Sloth from The Goonies and run around the north pole. Ace!
