by hecklerspray staff
On September 23, a collective bevy of websites, blogs and magazines clambered over themselves to give the hype machine called Halo 3 a sparking review, whereas three words should have replaced them all: “average at best.”
Apart from the time in March when we took some girl out to dinner and then the cinema, poured champagne down her neck all night, and she didn’t even give us a blowjob for our effort, it is the biggest disappointment of the year. There is no longevity in Halo 3′s campaign mode, the graphics are flat, the gameplay is hugely repetitive, the achievements easily obtainable.
The game does have two saving graces. Social Multiplayer can be a riot. You blow up lots of your friends and scream torrents of abuse down the headset. A level editor called Forge Mode, while time consuming, allows you to place the more devastating weapons and vehicles into otherwise bare maps.
While Halo 3 may be a commercial success, and the advertising onslaught continues, it has been strange to charter the online experience. Users complained about the frequency of repetition, given that they could not chose the map or game type played in a ranked game; the people who defected from the Gears of War lobby slowly but surely came back, disappointed by something that offered so much but gave so little. You finished the fight and there was nothing left in the tank.
So, how do you milk a dead cow?
On September 23, a collective bevy of websites, blogs and magazines clambered over themselves to give the hype machine called Halo 3 a sparking review, whereas three words should have replaced them all: "average at best."
Apart from the time in March when we took some girl out to dinner and then the cinema, poured champagne down her neck all night, and she didn't even give us a blowjob for our effort, it is the biggest disappointment of the year. There is no longevity in Halo 3's campaign mode, the graphics are flat, the gameplay is hugely repetitive, the achievements easily obtainable.
The game does have two saving graces. Social Multiplayer can be a riot. You blow up lots of your friends and scream torrents of abuse down the headset. A level editor called Forge Mode, while time consuming, allows you to place the more devastating weapons and vehicles into otherwise bare maps.
While Halo 3 may be a commercial success, and the advertising onslaught continues, it has been strange to charter the online experience. Users complained about the frequency of repetition, given that they could not chose the map or game type played in a ranked game; the people who defected from the Gears of War lobby slowly but surely came back, disappointed by something that offered so much but gave so little. You finished the fight and there was nothing left in the tank.
So, how do you milk a dead cow?
Read more >>>
by hecklerspray staff
Like most heterosexual males, seeing Take That in concert is not at the top of this writer’s life experiences, but last week that exactly thing happened when a girlfriend situation forced us to attend their latest concert on their Beautiful World tour.
We found ourselves surrounded by thousands of women, baying for the blood of the objects of their desires. The gig began with support coming from an unnamed woman, whose talent with a saxophone and vocals proved far superior than the other supporting act; Sophie Ellis Bextor (yes, she is still trying to give this singing lark a go) who was living off past glories for duration of her set, the only song garnering any kind of crowd reaction was the 2000 summer hit Groovejet, a collaboration with that household name DJ Spiller.
Read more >>>
