movie gossip - HecklerSpray

Michael Keaton Signs Up For Beetlejuice 2 (He Won’t Have To Wear Make-Up This Time)

February 14th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Remember Beetlejuice? It had that guy with the little head didn’t it? And that song at the end. And the disgusting things like Michael Keaton. Well, would you like to see it return in the shape of a new film?

Doesn’t really matter what your answer is, because, it looks like Beetlejuice 2 is happening and no amount of sarcastic clapping is going to change it.

And yes, Michael Keaton is going to be involved in the lead role and, unsurprisingly,?Tim Burton is rumoured to be heavily involved (which guarantees a couple of jobs for Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter). In fact, it wouldn’t surprise us if Depp was given the lead role and Keaton was shunted to the kerb.

Benedict Cumberbatch To Boldly Go Into Star Trek 2 (Geekjaculation Imminent)

January 5th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

You’ve seen Sherlock on BBC television right? Yeah, that homoerotic nonsense that all furrowed brows and winks to camera. It’s awful isn’t it? If you’re the kind of swine-nosed, spotty sloven who is now tutting in disgust at such a sentiment, we have news.

Mr Benedict Cumberbatch, a man with a face like an iron hand, is going to be in the new Star Trek movie.

The British actor has been cast in J.J. Abrams? sequel to his 2009 ‘Star Trek’ reboot, according to Deadline.com. And when have they ever lied? And he could well be getting a juicy role.

Simon Pegg’s Whinging About Khan In Star Terk 2 And We Like Saying The Name ‘Ricardo Montalban’

December 14th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Simon Pegg – impressively dislikeable since his days in Spaced – is, of course, becoming something of a ‘name’ in Hollywood. Well done him. Basically, he’s Rent-A-Nerd and he’s doing very nicely out of it thankyouverymuch.

If you didn’t know, Pegg starred as Scotty in the remake of Star Trek (the one with him from Heroes in it) and he’s opening and closing his mouth about ‘Star Trek 2’ which is due out in the next couple of years.

Typically, he’s complaining about it, furrowing his pale brow over the rumour that superhuman Khan will be the villain in the forthcoming sequel. Why?

Kristen Stewart To Star In Live Action Akira – Start Complaining Now

November 16th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Have you heard about the live action version of Akira that’s going to hit the cinema screens? Isn’t that the most wonderful news you’ve ever heard? It’s not like the original was perfect or anything stupid like that.

There’s even better news! Supreme dullard Kristen Stewart has been offered a role in the Akira adaptation too! Ain’t that grand?

Yes. We live in a world where someone who has played a major part in the Twilight movies and they still get job offers, despite the fact they are so crashingly tedious that air stagnates around their head every time they slowly bat a dry eyelid. However, all is not lost. We have just the role for Kristen, should she land the Akira gig.

Ryan Reynolds And Charlize Theron Are Dating To Become World’s Dumbest Couple

July 13th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Ryan Reynolds – man that is made entirely of gym instructions – and Charlize Theron – a woman designed to occupy thongs – have apparently been dating for months, and were both so simple minded (much like cows in a field) that they forgot to tell anyone… including themselves.

A source close to the pair has revealed to at least four people who were half-listening, that the pair are officially ‘in a relationship’, telling reporters: “They’re exclusive, and it’s very hush-hush.”

Presumably, even Charlize Theron doesn’t want to admit that she’s going steady with the man responsible for the dreadful, dreadful Green Lantern film.

Toy Story 4 Is Being Made Says Dull But Ultimately Likeable Tom Hanks

June 27th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

You soft shites all cried at Toy Story 3, so prepare to cry up all your misery in Toy Story 4 which is actually being made right now according to Tom Hanks. Of course, with such a long time passing between the second and third instalments, it appears that the producers aren’t messing around with number four.

This is hardly surprising given that Toy Story 3 was such a rampant success, becoming the first animated film to clear the $1bn. mark.

With the third film neatly rounding-off the franchise, it’ll be interesting to see what happens in the new one. We’re hoping for similarities to The Simpsons episode where Burns has lost Bobo. Or something. We haven’t actually seen the first three, so what do we know? It’s better than making some lame joke implying it’ll be full of inappropriate sex scenes and gangsta rappers or something.

The Scissor Sisters To Write Songs For Fraggle Rock Film, Which They’ll Ruin

June 14th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Remember Fraggle Rock? Do you? Oooooh! Yes! There was… uh… Wembley. Red. The one in the dressing gown. Um. Those little fellas who had scaffolding made from sugar or something. And then there was the giant lummox with the allotment. And… er… Marjory the Trash Heap.

Oh, and if you watched it in the UK, there was that weirdo who lived in a lighthouse with his jaded canine.

What memories. What fuzzy, vague memories often brought about by the singing of the theme tune, especially when the lyrics were made dirty, swinging a Fraggle by its cock. Salad days. Salad days which could well be utterly ruined by the inclusion of the Scissor Sisters. What now?