Whether it’s some bloke being torn apart by wild animals or some luckless cheerleader being mutilated by a crazed, axe-wielding maniac, we just can’t seem to get enough of it. Sickos, the lot of us!

In fact, just think of the films that could have been saved by the odd gruesome beheading or two. A few fleshing-eating zombies would certainly have spiced up Pride And Prejudice and Moulin Rouge. And is it so wrong to want to see Judi Dench being hacked to pieces? Anyway, so here at hecklerspray we have decided to come up with the 10 most gruesome movies deaths ever.

Oh, and we're sure that there will be people who will say it’s a rubbish list and that we forgot the one about the bloke who gets his brain scooped out by a teaspoon while his balls are being eaten by a small puppy. (By the way, if that movie exists please let us know. It sounds great!)

 
10. The Hitcher (1986)
‘Driving a girl away’

We decided to put this in, despite the fact that you don’t actually see anything. Odd, we know.

However, the thought of being pulled apart by two trucks is certainly something we would rather not think about too much.

Unlike the shit remake with Sean Bean, the Rutger Hauer original is not a bad film, but Leigh’s demise certainly sticks in the head.

9. American History X (1998)
‘The Kerb Stomp’

This infamous scene certainly wins the award for the most realistic sound effects.

Basically, neo-Nazi skinhead Derek (Edward Norton) teaches wounded black car thief Lawrence ‘a real lesson’ by forcing him to bite down on the kerb.

He then breaks his neck with one vicious stomp to the head. Crunch!

8. The Last House on the Left (1972)
‘No stomach for the kill’

Teaching teenagers for so long clearly had an effect on Wes Craven. After finally giving up college lecturing to become a director, the usually mild-mannered man spent most of his career making movies about all the different ways they can be brutally murdered.

Obviously, the A Nightmare on Elm Street series is what Craven will always be remembered for, but it was his first film, The Last House On The Left, that really hit the mark for all-round gruesomeness.

Still cut from just about all of the versions of his 1972 debut, the scene involves a girl being brutally butchered by two killers. They then decide to bathe in her bloody insides. Nice.

7. Wilderness (2006)
‘The Doggy Snack’ (trailer)

Does Sean Pertwee insist on showing us his insides in every film he’s in? Is it in his contract?

Not happy with showing us his ‘sausages’ in Dog Soldiers, Pertwee decides that he wants to go one better by being eaten alive by dogs. Forget Jaws, this is Jowls.

The rest of the film is garbage, but there is something about being gobbled up by ‘man’s best friend’ that makes for some uncomfortable viewing.

6. Casino (1995)
‘Not very Vice’

Even director Martin Scorsese himself was surprised this totally gratuitous scene got through the censors.

It involves some poor idiot and a vice. Go figure.

The only question you need to ask is whether you think his head goes ‘pop’ or ‘crack’. Watch it and judge for yourself.

5.  Scanners (1981)
‘The Headache’

OK, we're sure there are far worse murders than this, but it just would not feel right to leave this Cronenberg masterpiece out.

Still, most of you will be familiar with what happens in this infamous scene.

But for those of you who are not (where have you been?), it basically involves naughty Scanner and all-round headcase (get it?), Darryl Revok (Michael Ironside), demonstrating his head-exploding telepathic powers at an ESP conference to deadly effect.

4. The Thing (1982)
‘Chest horrible’ (manky compilation)

This scene gets in purely because of its creativity. And, well, the fact that is simply shocking and disturbing.

Apparently, Rob Bottin, the FX wonderkid behind the special effects, had to go into hospital during the making of this film because he was so exhausted.

Maybe he should have gone into a mental hospital after thinking up this death scene involving Dr Copper (Richard Dysart) offering infected colleague Norris (Charles Hallahan) some much-needed CPR.

See, that’s a nice thing to do. But what happens next is anything but. While pumping his chest, Norris’ rib cage opens up and bites the good doctor’s hands off. Talk about chest pains!

3. Robocop (1987)
‘The Melting Man’

Now we've got strong stomachs, but even this made us feel a bit queasy.

Emil (Paul McCrane) gets soaked in toxic waste and instantly starts to melt.

After freaking out his fellow bad guys with his pleas to "help me," he is finally put out of his misery when the ringleader accidentally runs him over in his car. Cue a shower of pinky green liquid and people being sick into their popcorn. Uuurgh.

2. I Spit on Your Grave (1978)
‘The harshest cut of all’

A death scene guaranteed to make any man grown wince and howl.

A gang rape victim lures one of her tormentors into a warm bath before cutting off his dick with a carving knife.

Nothing else you can really say about that.

1. Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
‘Death by Dildo’

The whole film could make up this top 10, to be quite honest. The film is so sick, we can barely think about it without wanting to vomit.

But there is one brutal murder which does tend to stick out. No, it’s not a strap-on dildo, but actually one with spikes on it.

Yes, you heard correctly. An Amazonian tribeswoman is found guilty of adultery and is duly punished in the harshest of ways.

OK, pass the sick bucket.

That's why movie deaths needs to be memorable. They need to be visceral. They need to be meaningful. And yet, some of the best-known movie deaths are shit. Here, in the form of a numbered list, we bring you the top 10 most disappointing movie deaths ever…

1 - Transformers: Jazz

Watching this film made a sizable part of our inner child die horribly, choking to death on his own stickle-bricks. It’s hard to even pick out scenes within a film that pretty much amounts to rape via CGI, but the death of Jazz (a character fondly remembered by anyone old enough to give a shit) is a particular kick in the milk teeth. We were already scared when they decided to create ‘black-stereotype’ robot and try and explain it away with ‘oh he learnt to talk from rap music’. But then he tries to take on Megatron and gets ripped in half. Surely a devastating moment for the young fans? Oh no, he doesn’t even get a slo-mo shot. Instead it’s straight to a guy pulling inexplicable motorbike stunts. We later learn that he can’t be repaired, before Optimus says something along the lines of ‘But at least we got new friends’. Jazz is slung on the rubbish heap a crime on the same scale as letting Anthony Anderson survive a film. 

2 - Predator: The Predator

The Predator is easily one of the most intimidating monsters in recent movie history. A 7ft tall invisible alien with a laser that cuts through Jessie Ventura like butter and a face like a toothy vagina is not to be messed with. But in the end Arnie just has to pull the old ‘hey look at me’ game before dropping a tree on his head. Being outsmarted by a man who looks confused by his own shoes is nothing to be proud of. The self-destruct sequence is a brief reprieve, but it seems pretty easy to outrun. Arnie isn’t exactly light on his feet, but a small dip in the ground seems sufficient to avoid a flaming death. Shame.

3 - Jurassic Park: Robert Muldoon

This death differs slightly in the fact that you are left a bit disappointed with the character himself. Frankly, Muldoon knew better. He was the velociraptor expert for God’s sake! Even we, the uneducated audience, knew that if you’ve got a raptor sat staring at you, you can be pretty sure that there’s another about to ambush you and get claw-happy with your intestinal tract. But no… instead he takes about 20 minutes unfolding an elaborate rifle and the trap is sprung. “Clever girl." Not really – predictable if anything, you muppet!

4 - Star Wars: Return Of The Jedi: Boba Fett

This guy is without a shadow of a doubt the coolest of the characters in the Star Wars universe. He stands up to Vader and that guy kills people literally for fun. But in hindsight, the legend of Fett isn’t really based on much more than a pretty cool helmet. In the end he suffers a slapstick comedy death, twatted in the back by a – blind – Han Solo who isn’t even pronouncing his name right. The biggest crime in Return Of The Jedi (yes, worse than the Ewoks) is the sight of Fett twanging into the side of a ship and rolling into what looks like big sandy anus.

5 - Bad Boys 2: Generic druglord

This film is long. It's really long. It’s a film that goes past the point of guilty pleasure until you start to wonder if all of the needless slo-mo and colour filters will actually bring on a tumour. It’s somewhere during hour 19 when those lovable ‘bad’ boys have killed most of Mexico, driven through most simultaneously flammable and unpopulated favela in the world and finally come face to face with Jordi Mollà’s villain. We don’t even know why they were on a minefield as we were drooling and confused by then, but they just shoot him in the head. Considering how ridiculous the film is, we at least expected them to fire him out of a cannon into a pit of rabid hyenas. But no, they just couldn’t be arsed.

6 - Terminator 2: Arnie

Now don’t get us wrong, this film is amazing. Well, at least right up to the last few minutes. After Arnie’s smelted the T-1000 into a CGI mulch, the time comes for him to sacrifice himself. It’s at this stage that you gradually start to realise what is about to happen. He’s going to try and go soft. Viewers of Kindergarten Cop know this is a bad idea on the scale of given Lindsay Lohan your car keys. “I know now why you cry,” is bad enough, but the thumbs-up… WHY OH WHY THE THUMBS-UP? 

7 – The Godfather: Vito Corleone

Another example of a great film with a scene that just feels a bit off. We don’t know what it is about this moment but the scene of Vito Corleone’s death has not aged well. Five minutes of watching Brando grunt strangely at a small child before pulling a genuinely terrifying face with an orange slice is somewhat unnerving. Then he just kind of falls over. The man didn’t need a grandiose, bullet riddled death, but there’s something genuinely wrong with that scene that is hard to put your finger on.

8 - Kill Bill Volume 2: Bill

Finally, after nearly five hours, two entrance fees and God knows how many unnecessary lines of dialogue have been sat through, the Bride is gonna KILL BILL. Then to have the sheer audacity to have the entire fight take place in about 5 seconds whilst sitting down is the equivalent of a movie cock-slapping. Tarantino even dangles the idea of a twilight swordfight in front of us but just can’t be fucked.  

9 - Aliens: Apone

The character of Apone was never going to make it to the end of the film. He might as well have had the words ‘disposable black character’ stamped on his forehead. But he still manages to be one of the most memorable badasses in the film, despite never firing a shot. From the moment he shoves a cigar into his gob within seconds of waking from hyper sleep you expect to see him stub it out on the eyeball of an alien as he goes down swinging. Instead he stumbles about trying to hear out of his earpiece and an alien drops on his head like a sack of acid-filled shit. One girlish scream later and he’s gone.

10 - Collateral: Vincent

Once again, this is a great film. But at the same time are we really supposed to believe that Jamie Foxx’s confused cabbie takes down Tom Cruise in full ‘silver fox’ assassin mode? OK, the lights on the train go out, but there’s still plenty of time to get off a shot and Cruise shoots about six times into a doorway about the width of a person. He even seems to shoot first. But he misses and gets shot. No wonder he looks pissed off. It’s still worth watching the film just to see Tom Cruise run like a robot.

[story by Nicholas Edmondson]