movie - HecklerSpray

Zero Pre-Teen Gang Bangs Occur: Krysta’s Review of “It”

September 10th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

I have been a HUGE Stephen King fan for twenty years and was naturally beyond excited when I found out that his classic novel (and my favourite of his novels) It was getting made into a big budget R-rated movie.

It was obviously already done before with the legendary 1990 made-for-tv movie, but given that it was made for tv, a lot of the more gruesome shit had to be left out. So when I found out it was being made into an R-rated movie for theatres, my big question was: will they include the gang bang between the 7 main 11-year-olds?

Could 2018 Be the Year of the Lindsay Lohan Comeback?

June 22nd, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

I have legitimately been praying for this day for almost 10 years, and, tbh, I had kind of given up hope that anything this miraculous would ever happen. But here I am, predicting that 2018 could potentially be the year that Lindsay Lohan FINALLY makes her acting comeback!

Last week, I blogged about how Lohan had a real acting job in something that actually looks watchable, as she was cast in the British comedy, Sick Note. Now, here I am this week, announcing that she might be part of the HIGHLY anticipated Life Size 2, a sequel to her and Tyra Banks’ cinematic (aka made-for-tv) masterpiece, Life Size!

There Was a Real Twist Ending During the Oscars’ Finale!

February 27th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

So the Oscars were last night, and I wholeheartedly enjoyed them. They were just political enough in the sense that 1) it’s important for them to be political, and 2) but Jesus Christ let’s take a break from this shit for just ONE night and celebrate some good movies, you know?

Emma Stone, Casey Affleck, Viola Davis, and Mahershala Ali all won acting awards, and La La Land won Best Picture…EXCEPT IT DIDN’T! Moonlight did! However, La La Land did win for like a minute. It was a whole thing.

The Biggest Breakout Stars of 2016

December 31st, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

This year we lost a lot of amazing stars. In the past week we lost Carrie Fisher AND her mother, my beloved Debbie Reynolds just one day apart! This was pretty traumatic for me as I love Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds is a goddamn Goddess to me. The day before she died I was legit Googling young pics of her, baffled that Eddie Fisher left her for Liz Taylor, but I digress.

For this post, I’d like to look at some of the faces that really stood out in 2016 as new, fresh and exciting. I think I’ve got like 12 here. Frankly, I was too lazy to count.

Golden Globe Noms are a Buncha Films I Haven’t Heard Of

December 12th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Around this time every year, studios get to pimping out their big time Oscar bait and there are at least a dozen movies I really want to see because they look so fucking fantastic. The past two years have actually been really great for film, but this year the only movies I was mega jazzed on were The Witch and Zootopia (both were siiiiiick).

I’ve legit had numerous conversations with multiple people about how we had NO idea what would even be nominated for the Oscars this year, but today the Golden Globe nominations were released and, amazingly, it’s a bunch of shit I’ve never even heard of.

James Franco Goes Gay in ‘King Cobra’

September 30th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

In case you didn’t know, James Franco makes like 4,739,901 movies per year. He’s currently promoting a movie called Goat with gay-baiter, Nick Jonas, and is going full gay-bait in a movie about gay porn, called King Cobra.

After heading over to IMDB, it turns out that James Franco is actually in like ten movies this year, but Goat and King Cobra are getting the most buzz. The sad thing is, I actually kind of really want to see them both.

FINALLY: A Chumbawumba Documentary is Happening

July 7th, 2015 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

If you were a music lover in 1997, then you know that one of the greatest songs of all time is a little ditty called “Tubthumping” by The Beatles of the 90’s: Chumbawumba. Since it was released nearly 20 years ago, people have been wracking their brains wondering what the back story to such a jam could possibly be. Songs that good don’t just get written out of nowhere!

Well, our prayers have FINALLY been answered! Dunstan Bruce, a founding member of Chumbawumba, has started a Kickstarter to make “I Get Knocked Down (The Untold Story of Chumbawumba)”. Get out your bank cards, folks, because money CAN buy happiness!

Another Sign 50 Shade of Shit is Going to Suck

November 3rd, 2014 By Megan Leitch

Jamie Dornan needs a lesson in good PR and bullshitting.? While doing some promotional chit chat for his upcoming shittastic film 50 Shades of Gray, Dornan did the number one worst thing to do when trying to get people to want to see his movie.? He basically let everyone know it was going to suck.

Now, he didn’t come right out and say “This film is going to fucking blow, so don’t waste your time and wait until RedBox has this shit for $1.27.”? However, he did deflate the little bit of hope people had for a redeeming quality.? That quality being the ability to see Jamie’s penis.

Katherine Heigl is Begging People for Money So She Can Be in Movies

February 27th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Katherine Heigl has annoyed the shit out of me for years, so I was pretty fucking happy when she basically fell off the face of the planet due to the fact no one in the movie industry wanted to work with her ass anymore.

But, Katherine being Katherine,?attempted to say “fuck you” to the film industry by making her own movies without their help. Movies she’s now claiming she’s too poor to fund.

A few years back, Katherine Heigl did that thing that a lot of stupid bitches do: she quit her popular television show so she could be a movie star. However, like Mischa Barton before her, that didn’t really work out so well, so now she’s broke and can’t afford to make her own movies and wants people to help a sister out. File this under: bitch please.

The 20 Best Coming of Age Movies of All Time

February 26th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

The Oscars are just around the corner, so needless to say, I’ve got movies on the brain. In case you haven’t guessed it, I’m a bit of a movie fanatic. When I was growing up, the video store by my house used to send my family gift packages for Christmas because we basically kept them in business. When I was 14 they asked my mom if they could give me a job since they might as well pay me if I’m going to be there all the damn time. But enough about that.

So since I’ve been thinking about movies so much lately, I got to thinking about my favorite movie genres, and one stood out as the obvious winner: coming of age movies. I think I’ll mentally forever be a 12-year-old boy, so coming of age movies get me every time. There are some super?famous ones that everyone loves, and then there are some more obscure that everyone should love, and I’ve decided to compile a list (in no particular order) of the?20 that I think are the best, and if you don’t agree, well, shut up! Get your own blog!