America – you had your chance. Had you more respect for the Presley name, had you not referred to her poor father as ‘Fat Elvis’ every three seconds, and perhaps if you hadn’t completely snubbed every single one of her musical attempts, Lisa Marie may have been content to stay within your borders forever.

But no – you all only reminded her that she didn’t have constant access to fish wrapped in newspaper, dreary gray skies or pictures of the queen staring back at her from the face of all the currency in her pocket.

So she’s up and moved to England – and it may or may not have more to do with Scientology than all that other stuff we wrote up there.