We said it about Finding Nemo and now we're saying it about Cloverfield – a film isn't really good unless it makes you want to blow chunks.

And on that basis, Cloverfield is probably the best film of all time. It's been reported that the movie is causing so much nausea in cinemas that ushers are staggering out of screening covered from head to toe in a nasty mixture of puke and semi-digested popcorn kernels. Almost.

Not because Cloverfield is gory, mind you – it's because the camera whooshes around all the time like we don't know what.

As we all know, record-breaking monster movie Cloverfield has been dubbed 'the social networking Godzilla'. Not because the Cloverfield monster just invited us to join a Facebook group called 'Woooarrrrrgggh! Hwuuuurgh!' – which is true – but because the whole thing's filmed in the style of a gang of pikeys making Diet Coke bottles explode with Mentos in a council estate carpark on Youtube.

And that's been a bit of a problem. Some Cloverfield audience members have been complaining that the fast-paced, shaky camera style have left them unable to follow what's going on. And that's mainly because they've been overcome by the uncontrollable desire to spray every piece of food they've ever eaten out of their mouths like it's a lumpy petrol pump. The Boston Herald reports:

“About 15 minutes into the movie my stomach started to hurt,” said Chris Hyde, 25, of Lynn, who saw the flick the night it opened. “Forty minutes into it, I had to close my eyes I was so dizzy. Finally, I left. It took me about an hour afterwards to recover.” “I had to get up and leave the theater for nearly 20 minutes just to keep from hurling,” said one blogger on the popular movie website IMDB.com. CNN reported that there have been similar complaints across the country from moviegoers.

That's the main problem with Cloverfield replicating a typical shaky Youtube video – while it's fine to watch that sort of thing in a window the size of your big toe on a computer monitor, if you blow it up onto a screen that's bigger than your house and make cola-filled pick-n-mix scoffers sit in a dark room watching it, people are going to get motion sickness.

However, it's worth remembering that so far there have been no reported cases of actual Cloverfield-inspired vomiting. And that's a let-down, to be honest. Maybe in the inevitable Cloverfield sequel Matt Reeves can go all out and film everything by hanging cameras from the ceiling by pieces of string on a boat in the middle of a stormy ocean. That's bound to get people throwing up.

Or just cast Drew Barrymore in it. Same result. 

Read more:

Monster-ful ‘Cloverfield’ does barf-o box office – Boston Herald