Kate Hudson Is Beautiful, Or So They Say Hey girls, did you know you'll never be as beautiful as Kate Hudson? You didn't? Well you're not, so why don't you just hurl yourself under a lorry or something. We're not being cruel here, we're just stating a fact. People magazine has named its most beautiful people of the year and Kate Hudson has won. You weren't even in the top ten, you massive uggo. Don't get sad, it's the truth. And you can't dispute that a massive magazine like People doesn't know what it's talking about, because look at the runners-up who came after Kate Hudson - Mary J Blige, Bruce Willis' daughter, a woman we've never heard of whose name is Beard, the ginger woman who got her minge out in Short Cuts. That's beauty you just can't argue with, girls.

You Want Katherine Heigl To Be You Girlfriend, It Says Here

You know Katherine Heigl, the mouthy one from Knocked Up and Grey's Anatomy? You want her to be your girlfriend. You do.

You want Katherine Heigl to be your girlfriend because an AskMen.com survey has declared that Katherine Heigl is the most desirable woman on the planet and, as a man, it's the law to want her all to yourself.

And, you know, even if you're not a man you probably want Katherine Heigl to be your girlfriend as well. We're open-minded people, so we understand if you girls want a piece of Katherine Heigl too. Our only request is, if that should ever happen, that you film it and send us a copy. For research purposes. There's nothing funny about it.