Articles tagged with: Morrissey
Jesus, we know when we’re being outdone. Most of the time, it’s when an unborn Japanese child severely beats us on FIFA. And we don’t mean by using the hand of God in extra time. And then there's Morrissey. Somehow, Morrissey is classed as a genius despite still singing songs that an old band of his wrote years ago and releasing solo albums that are properly gash. Recently, Morrissey has had a bit of problems on the gig scene. He passed out in Swindon and then got twatted in the face with a cup in Liverpool. Surely it’s full steam ahead from here, right? Wrong! Continuing his tour to Hamburg, Morrissey got narked off with a fan who dared boo his miserable rant on meat-eaters. And what happened? Find out after the jump!
Everyone knows Morrissey. He’s that loveable vegan from Manchester who complains about everything and then goes in to a big vegetable huff when things go pear-shaped. Only a couple of weeks ago, he collapsed at a gig in Swindon. Perhaps he saw what the people there looked like and wanted out. Pronto. In the latest shenanigan involving the former Smiths front man, he got pelted with a plastic cup of water in Liverpool. Now he didn’t fall over, his feeble vegan body did manage to withstand the force of the close range throw. Still, he did get soaked worse than a potato patch and stormed off the stage. Interested in seeing the video? Of course you are. It’s right after the jump.
Hooray! It’s that time of year again where bands of all genres play to thousands of music lovers around the world. And, thanks to its eclectic line-up and decent weather, Coachella is becoming one of the biggest. Hosted in a Californian desert, people flock from all over America to attend. One of this year’s performers was Morrissey - a man so removed of happiness that a trip to a furniture shop, a stint watching paint dry and a visit to a cemetery bring more joy than an hour of his company. The much-publicised vegetarian got slightly pissy during his Friday slot as his nostrils sniffed the odour of burgers and other meaty delights. Of course he didn’t keep his opinions to himself.
Good news, people: the world’s second biggest twat, otherwise known as Jonathan Edward Borrell, is to be murdered.
OK, OK, yeahyeahyeah, it’s only going to happen in a movie, but sometimes life imitates art, right? Right? Right. We can but hope. Our fingers remain firmly crossed.
Borrell is to star in the new film by Antonia Bird and Irvine Welsh, named The Meat Trade, and will be killed by two grave robbers, played by Robert Carlyle and Colin Firth. Jonathan Edward told the Daily Star:
"It's going to be so much fun. I love horror and I'm a really big fan of Irvine Welsh's work. I loved Trainspotting."
No, not a Morrisons advert - Alan Hansen and Lulu are already doing a bang-up job of starring in those bloody things themselves - a Morrissey advert.
As you probably know, Morrissey has a Greatest Hits collection coming out soon - even though two thirds of the songs on it are from his last two pretty ropey albums - and he needs your help with adverts for it.
Everyone reading this has a chance to be in the new Morrissey adverts, provided they love Morrissey enough to have previously mutilated their body out of chronically misplaced devotion to the man. He's an email we got telling how you people can get involved:
Morrissey might be getting it from all sides thanks to those anti-immigration remarks he supposedly made in the NME, but he'll always have one lifelong fan in the shape of Russell Brand.
Russell Brand loves Morrissey so much that he's got a pet cat named Morrissey,
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OK, not quite. But Morrissey has decided to tell his side of the Morrissey/ NME immigration yarn to the most unbiased arena in the land - the official Morrissey website.
Last week, Morrissey's torrent of alleged anti-immigration codswallop shocked all NME readers - so basically about a dozen 14-year-olds with funny haircuts and cupboards full of skinny ties - to such an extent that Morrissey was forced to sue the magazine. And today on his website, Morrissey is going to explain that actually he's not a racist, that the NME ignored his requests to help out on an anti-racism campaign and - perhaps most shockingly of all - the interviewer fidgeted a bit and laughs like a schoolgirl.
Oh, it's on.
Morrissey - the man who appears on the cover of this week's NME spouting enough anti-immigrant polemic to make Anne Widdecombe look like a straggle-haired pot-smoking hippy - has had enough.
According to the NME, Morrissey spent the duration of a recent interview banging on about how crap immigrants are and how England isn't England any more like some of dribble-chinned retired bombardier who's just learnt that three extended Kosovan families have bought the house next door. However, Morrissey seems adamant that that everything in the NME interview is a big fat lie, and so he's followed through on his promise to sue the magazine for everything it owns.
And by 'everything it owns' we mean three Klaxons promo CDs, a sperm-stained poster of The Horrors and as much hair gel as he can possibly eat.
