Posts tagged as:

Money

Michael Jackson’s Dad Clearly Wants Loads of Money From The Pockets of Michael Jackson’s Cadaver

by Mof Gimmers

Michael Jackson fans love us writing about their favourite popstar. We pull their noses and they get to try and outdo each other with hyperbolic claims of infatuation and true fandom. We all prop each other up, like recovering drunks in a day centre. Someone who loves Michael Jackson more than any of us is [...]

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James Blunt Promises To Quit Music Forever For Money!

by Matthew Laidlow

Quick! Stop what you’re doing. If you thought the biggest announcement of the year was that time travelling thing that’d tell us the secrets of the universe, you’re wrong!

We’ve got something much more important to tell you, something that will cause the world’s population to sigh in unison.

It’s James Blunt. He might write all sorts of songs that get used in chick flicks, love albums and as a weapon to torture terror suspects, but this could soon stop. You see, James Blunt has promised to sew his mouth shut for the right amount of money. Or never step foot in a recording studio again, at least.

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Nobody Wants To Make Kevin Smith’s Stupid New Film

by Stuart Heritage

Kevin Smith might have inspired hundreds of indie movies about nothing with lots of pointless talking in them, but he just can’t get any love.

For example, the movie that Kevin Smith wants to make after his new flick Zack And Miri Make A Porno is a horror called Red State. Trouble is, Smith says no studio will touch Red State because it’s bleak and dark and utterly noncommercial.

A Kevin Smith film that’s bleak and dark and noncommercial? Is Kevin Smith remaking Jersey Girl already? Right? Right? Because, you know, Jersey Girl was bleak, and it was dark, and, um… yeah. Would someone mind calling us a taxi, please?

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Big Brother: Sara & Lisa Up, Both Quite Rich Now

by Stuart Heritage

Well it took 84 days, but Big Brother finally got exciting last night. Well, maybe exciting isn’t the word. Something happened on Big Brother last night. Does that count?

In what has to be a nudge to the British public to remind everyone that it still existed, last night Big Brother made the remaining housemates nominate each other face to face on live TV. Then Sara and Lisa – the two housemates with the most votes – had some sort of convoluted quiz thing to go through before one of them won £50,000. They’re still up, though. Are you still with us? Sara and Lisa are still up for Big Brother eviction tomorrow. That’s the important part. Well, maybe important isn’t the word…

So who’ll go tomorrow? Here are the Big Brother betting odds for Sara’s eviction tomorrow, with help from Paddy Power…

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Britney Spears Owes a Lot of Money for Questionable Standards of Legal Service

by Ian Dransfield

We all know what’s been happening with Britney Spears in recent times – the vast majority of her life seems to have adorned these very pages over the last couple of years. But no one seems to have put any real thought into how this has affected the girl on a financial level – yes, [...]

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Jennifer Aniston Still a ‘Lady’, John Mayer Keeps Moths in His Wallet

by Ian Dransfield

John Mayer has, rather unsurprisingly, been using his breakup with Jennifer Aniston to get himself a nice big slice of publicity. It’s not that we didn’t expect him to go down that route, but it does still irritate when it actually happens. After all, he is still a dull nobody that would have faded into [...]

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Christian Bale Assault Charges Result in Ultimate Punishment. That, or Just a Caution

by Ian Dransfield

Christian Bale looks likely to get away with allegedly pushing his mum about, if he pleads guilty to assault. The Welshman, who no one seems to realise is Welsh, has been recommended to receive a caution by the Crown Prosecution Service for his alleged actions, should he plead guilty to charges next month. If, however, [...]

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Charlie Sheen Earns More Than You

by Ian Dransfield

It really isn’t very nice reading stories about those acting types and how much they actually earn for what they consider ‘work’. Now sure, if it’s someone like the Baler losing ridiculous amounts of weight (or putting it back on to be Batman), or generally any kind of actor that’s willing to put their body [...]

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Christian Bale Went Spazzy Over Sister Cash Request: Claim

by Stuart Heritage

Christian Bale is easily our hero of the week – his dedication to clown-attacking even extends to his own clown mother, for god’s sake.

But, in all of this possibly-illegal motherclown-beating kerfuffle, one question has stood out above all others – what makes a newly-minted megastar like Christian Bale start whaling on his mother and sister on the happiest day of his life?

Turns out the reason might be cash. According to reports today, Christian Bale kicked off after his sister asked him for £100,000 to help raise her three children. Frankly we’re disgusted – doesn’t Christian Bale know that all children have the right to receive occasional gifts of more than the average British annual working wage that their mother has managed to guilt out of their moviestar uncle? Shame on you, Mr Bale. Shame on you indeed.

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Will Smith Fails For Once In His Life (At The ‘Not Earning A Lot Of Money’ Game)

by Ian Dransfield

You have to sympathise with Will Smith – the man has had a rough time recently, having to deal with a constant barrage of claims that he’s an evil Scientologist from the planet Zod, or wherever it is they come from. Yes, the Fresh Prince has taken most of his time in-between promoting Hancock defending [...]

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