Articles tagged with: Mole
D-Day For R Kelly Trial. Or R-Day, Maybe
Deliberation, discussion and decision-making: all major factors involved in writing about a legal case that hasn't yet been decided either way. Strangely enough, these things are also associated with the jury in the R Kelly child pornography trial. Would you believe it? Of course, this brings up a wonderful revelation - it shouldn't be too long before hecklerspray can refer to R Kelly in whatever terms we see fit, with the full backing of the law on our side. Yes: the jury have heard the prosecution, the defence, rebuttals, witnesses and counter-cross-ultra-examinations, and they've run off to that room probably occupied by Twelve Angry Men to decide once and for all what the media are allowed to refer to R Kelly as. And probably, more importantly, if the man is to serve jail time or if he is cleared of the charges held against him. The future looks bright.
Deliberation, discussion and decision-making: all major factors involved in writing about a legal case that hasn't yet been decided either way. Strangely enough, these things are also associated with the jury in the R Kelly child pornography trial. Would you believe it? Of course, this brings up a wonderful revelation - it shouldn't be too long before hecklerspray can refer to R Kelly in whatever terms we see fit, with the full backing of the law on our side. Yes: the jury have heard the prosecution, the defence, rebuttals, witnesses and counter-cross-ultra-examinations, and they've run off to that room probably occupied by Twelve Angry Men to decide once and for all what the media are allowed to refer to R Kelly as. And probably, more importantly, if the man is to serve jail time or if he is cleared of the charges held against him. The future looks bright.
R Kelly Trial: Is It R In Video? Is The Girl Who She Says She Is? Who Am I?!
It's an age-old defence and one that many, many people have relied on throughout the ages to help them avoid being shouted at, dumped, ignored or sent to prison on alleged charges of having sex with an underage girl and filming it: "It wasn't me." Even Shaggy relied on it at one point, though the dolt did ruin the get-out clause for the rest of us by making it public knowledge. Now, as fate would have it and as the mole/artifact argument would have us believe, the man in the video being examined in the R Kelly child sex trial isn't actually R himself. It is, as the defence have stated, a lookalike.
It's an age-old defence and one that many, many people have relied on throughout the ages to help them avoid being shouted at, dumped, ignored or sent to prison on alleged charges of having sex with an underage girl and filming it: "It wasn't me." Even Shaggy relied on it at one point, though the dolt did ruin the get-out clause for the rest of us by making it public knowledge. Now, as fate would have it and as the mole/artifact argument would have us believe, the man in the video being examined in the R Kelly child sex trial isn't actually R himself. It is, as the defence have stated, a lookalike.
R Kelly Kiddy Porn Trial: That’s Not A Mole, Idiots, That’s An Artifact
It's obvious to everyone with any sense that it isn't R Kelly in the sex tape at the centre of his child pornography trial. Really, it isn't. R Kelly has a caterpillar-shaped mole on his back, you see, and the man in the R Kelly sex tape doesn't have a caterp... oh wait, yes he does. Bum. However, just because R Kelly and the man in the sex tape appear to have similarly-shaped birthmarks on the same part of their backs, it doesn't make R Kelly guilty of anything. That's because, according to a defence analyst yesterday, there aren't any moles on the R Kelly sex tape at all - only artifacts. What's an artifact? God knows. Let's go!
It's obvious to everyone with any sense that it isn't R Kelly in the sex tape at the centre of his child pornography trial. Really, it isn't. R Kelly has a caterpillar-shaped mole on his back, you see, and the man in the R Kelly sex tape doesn't have a caterp... oh wait, yes he does. Bum. However, just because R Kelly and the man in the sex tape appear to have similarly-shaped birthmarks on the same part of their backs, it doesn't make R Kelly guilty of anything. That's because, according to a defence analyst yesterday, there aren't any moles on the R Kelly sex tape at all - only artifacts. What's an artifact? God knows. Let's go!
R Kelly Kiddy Porn Trial: All About The Backstreet Boys, Mostly
The R Kelly child pornography trial is now underway, and it looks like things are even more disgusting than we thought. Because, on the opening day of the trial, the now infamous alleged R Kelly sex tape was played to jurors and - we can't believe we have to tell to tell you something as sordid as this - it features dancing. To a Backstreet Boys song. Oh, and also it allegedly shows R Kelly urinating, his possibly 13-year-old sex partner urinating and several creepy instances of the word 'Daddy'. But one thing the R Kelly sex tape doesn't feature is The Spice Girls, because as soon as one of their songs comes on the radio, R Kelly allegedly halts proceedings and switches channel. Suck it Geri Halliwell, you're not even good enough to soundtrack lurid child sex videos! In your face!
The R Kelly child pornography trial is now underway, and it looks like things are even more disgusting than we thought. Because, on the opening day of the trial, the now infamous alleged R Kelly sex tape was played to jurors and - we can't believe we have to tell to tell you something as sordid as this - it features dancing. To a Backstreet Boys song. Oh, and also it allegedly shows R Kelly urinating, his possibly 13-year-old sex partner urinating and several creepy instances of the word 'Daddy'. But one thing the R Kelly sex tape doesn't feature is The Spice Girls, because as soon as one of their songs comes on the radio, R Kelly allegedly halts proceedings and switches channel. Suck it Geri Halliwell, you're not even good enough to soundtrack lurid child sex videos! In your face!
