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Ready for another buttload of Eurovision 2009 profiles? Yes, of course you are.
We know we’re hyping this up a bit, but in a few days we’re going to be showing you the worst Eurovision entry we’ve ever heard. It’s awful. It’s not even so bad it’s good. It’s so bad it’s genuinely made us contemplate self-harm. It’s horrible. And it’s coming in a few days.
But first here’s the Eurovision 2009 rundown for Nelly Ciobanu from Moldova…
Ready for another generic Eurovision betting odds opening sentence? Well, you’ve got your wish. Happy now?
Have you entered the Eurovision: Be A Winner karaoke contest yet? Us neither. Do you plan to enter the Eurovision: Be A Winner karaoke contest? Us neither. Can you think of anything more likely to send you into violent involuntary convulsions than a Eurovision karaoke contest? Us neither. But, hey, the deadline for Eurovision: Be A Winner entries is Friday. Just thought we’d let you know.
Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Moldova, with help from Paddy Power…
Eurovision is bad enough at the worst of times, right? There's nothing worse than watching some shambling lunatic in ill-fitting clothes saunter around a stage and display their complete lack of professionalism to the world. And that's just Terry Wogan. Eh? Eh? Do you see? Eh?
Anyway. There's actually one surefire way to make Eurovision that little bit more unsettling – and we don't mean watching it on 30g of magic mushrooms with your eyelids taped open like Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange. We mean by choosing an entry that has somewhat, ahem, suspicious lyrics.
As flagged up by the mighty Popbitch, I Love The Girls is Alexandru Bobnibov's shortlisted attempt to represent Moldova in next year's Eurovision. "Now, then," you might say, "what's wrong with a title like that? He loves the ladies – surely he's just a red-blooded young man?" To which we reply: check out the lyrics.
Do you wanna be in a my gang, my gang, my gang …
