Posts tagged as:

model

Nicki Minaj Once Considered Suicide, But Didn’t Do It, So Who Cares?

by Mof Gimmers

You. You’ve thought about dying. Of course you have. You’re a pathetic excuse for a human. Look at you. You’re an embarrassment compared to your friends with their careers, savings, mortgages and stupid pets. Of course, they’re worthless and resentful as well. They know people doing even better than they are. And this continues all [...]

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We’re Scared Of Writing Jokes About Jodie Marsh Now That She Looks Like This

by Kris Silver

That Amanda Knox lass and her apparently non murdering ways have grabbed all the headlines this week. Which is a shame as this whole murder in Perugia fiasco has completely overshadowed the return of Jodie Marsh. Some new photos of Jodie, the suspected inspiration for BBC 3 smash Snog, Marry, Avoid, have surfaced that show [...]

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Kelly Brook Finally Reveals That She Is Reptilian

by Matthew Laidlow

PETA, they’re a pesky bunch aren’t they? Whenever an opportunity arises, you know that one of their weak and feeble members will be around to call you nasty names. Such is their obsession with animal rights; they didn’t see The Human Centipede as a gross-out horror film, but as a powerful documentary showing man continuing [...]

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Nicki Minaj’s Nipple Upsets The Whole Of America

by Matthew Laidlow

How did people entertain themselves in the days before electricity was invented? Imagine life a trillion billion years ago when there was nothing on the planet apart from your fellow human and stupid animals. People actually had to use their brains to amuse themselves, urgh. Caveman drawings have given a small glimpse into what our [...]

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Nicki Minaj Fined Hilarious Amount For Potty Mouthed Appearance

by Mof Gimmers

Despite the music industry being in some kind of financial crisis, it doesn’t stop certain artists from flaunting their gargantuan wealth and having wardrobes that are more expensive than absolutely everything in Ireland and Greece combined. And so, when we need to make an example of them, we try and throw the book at them [...]

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Kanye’s Ex, Amber Rose, In Trouble After Very Explicit Nude Photo Leak

by Mof Gimmers

Kanye West’s ex-gal Amber Rose is in all kinds of trouble at the moment after some very, very explicit pictures leaked online. They weren’t the only things leaking. The model has now been dropped by her bookers and Nicki Minaj might be pretty peeved too. The images show Rose butt-naked apart from some expensive looking [...]

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Jonathan Rhys Meyers Tries To Commit Suicide And We Try And Work Out What’s Funny About It

by Mof Gimmers

A man! A man has tried to kill himself! His life has become so unbearably bleak that he stared into the pit of misery and felt compelled to end it, seeing his precious, fragile life as so worthless that it was no longer required to continue, aiming to snuff it out like a flickering flame. [...]

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Karen Gillan And The Word Naked Is Very Search Term Friendly, Despite Being Old News (We Have A Picture Though)

by Mof Gimmers

Yesterday, we completely forgot to write about Karen Gillan being found naked on the floor of a hotel in New York. Despite the fact it is quite literally yesterday’s news, everyone still seems to be talking about it today. So of course, not wanting to miss out on that lovely traffic, invariably being swept up [...]

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Quite Thin Daisy Lowe Will Never Be A Beanpole, Alright?

by Mof Gimmers

Oh! How inspirational Daisy Lowe is! She’s got ‘curves’, which is the catch-all phrase for women who are, essentially, very fat. Curves in the model sense, of course, means a shapely figure as opposed to two curves, each starting at the neck and arcing outward, tapering in at the ankle. Anyway, with her ‘curves’, Daisy [...]

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Ryan Phillippe To Have Sex With A DNA Machine To See If He’s A Daddy Or Not

by Mof Gimmers

Ryan Phillippe might be a daddy! Hurray! Where do we send a card of congratulations? He must be so thrilled at the prospect of being responsible for yet another human shaped disappointment into the world! But wait! What’s this? His ex, pregnant model-cum-actress Alexis Knapp, is saying that the thing growing inside her was put [...]

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