There’s something truly amazing about being able to download games straight to a mobile device without having to blow into a cartridge, or wipe the back of a CD and wait hours for something to install, only to crash on the first playthrough.

“Unparalleled convenience” some might say. Of course we wouldn’t say that because that would be a compliment and compliments are only given once a year. You know this.

That said, mobile gaming is pretty nifty isn’t it? We can choose, download and realise a game is a dud before the initial crowning is over during Toilet Time. It’s as simple as a Kardashian, and almost as easy. Booyah! Unfortunately Superman is one of those games that you regret buying almost immediately after opening the app for the very first time.

“Become Superman and act like a self-congratulatory dickhead!” Reads the description in the App Store.

Although the idea behind the game is strikingly original; a 2D adventure flying around Metropolis putting out fires, throwing booby trapped cars into space and blasting asteroids out of the sky, unfortunately the common trap that mobile gaming falls into rears its ugly head once again.

“What’s that recurring problem?” We hear you shout before offering your ill-informed opinion on the latest Twitter outrage. Well the controls. No one has yet to perfect onscreen controls without them becoming a fiddly nightmare. Someone should realise that gamers don’t want to have a large proportion of the screen taken up by our dirty nails and bitten fingers. Who would want that? We all know that people with dirty nails are thought worse of than the letter “Oh, I’m a consonant, now I’m a vowel, I’m so flirty” Y.

It’s good having the option to zoom around Metropolis in your pants and a cape, but eventually you lose patience having to rearrange yourself time and time again because you’ve overshot the destination with the control stick, or supersped away from the speeding car by pressing the wrong button.

Although it is a wallet-friendly price, this doesn’t mask the fact that essentially it has the same failings as many other portable gaming titles. Give it a whirl if you want to, we don’t care, we have citizens to save!

Is it a bird, is it a plane? No, it’s HECKLER MAN!

The telephone is one of the world’s greatest inventions. Whether you’re trying to find out what’s for dinner or tap into the private conversations of your love-rat partner, a telephone is a hugely useful tool.

Let’s also consider the use of mobile telephones. You can check your Facebook status, make everyone aware of your location using your Foursquare account or tweet your mobile number to a make-up artist.

Let’s be quite clear though, tweeting your mobile number into a forum where it can be seen by anyone with eyes isn’t a mistake in itself and we’re not here to criticise anyone that does it. It’s so simple to accidentally transmit your mobile number or upload a picture of yourself in the skud without even knowing you’ve done it.

Still, that doesn’t mean gossip sites will be forgiving when it comes to the publication of it and we’ve got it over the jump.

Yes, that’s right folks. The mass media is a terrible thing and we’re willing to publish someone’s personal contact details for the sake of a cheap, tawdry story. Look on in wonderment as lesser gossip sites try to turn the fact that she did it at all into a story while we, fearless warriors of truth and light blunder our way into a lawsuit.

Anyway. If you want the number then just click here. We took a screenshot of the tweet for legal purposes.

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or else we’ll kill you in your sleep or join our Facebook group if anyone is still daft enough to use it or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS OR WE’LL KILL EVERYONE YOU’VE EVER LOVED!