HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

Tom Cruise Stars In Mission: Impossible 4 – This Time It’s Unnecessary

By Stuart Heritage

Tom Cruise, Mission: Impossible, Mission: Impossible 4, JJ AbramsSo Tom Cruise is going to make Mission: Impossible 4. Let’s get all the obvious gags out of the way now, shall we?

Hey, what’s the impossible mission this time? Reviving Tom Cruise’s career? Ha. Finding Tom Cruise a decent haircut? Ha. Trying to convince the world that Tom Cruise isn’t a boggle-eyed religious fanatic? Ha. Making Tom Cruise the size of a normal human being? Ha. Getting Tom Cruise to convincingly marry a woman? Ha. Trying to get Tom Cruise to promote a movie without making an overwhelming arsehole of himself? Haaaa.

Oh boy, this is going to be fun.

Continue reading...

Tom Cruise Might Somehow Make Mission: Impossible 4

By Stuart Heritage

We’re starting to think that Oprah Winfrey is some kind of mystical genie, you know.

Just look at Tom Cruise. Just the other week he was in the worst professional state of his career, then he zipped over to Oprah and – blam – there’s suddenly a lot of talk about him returning to Paramount to make Mission: Impossible 4.

If this Mission: Impossible 4 talk is true then it’s an incredible turnaround for Tom Cruise. And just in the nick of time, too – if we all cross our fingers tight enough and maybe chant a little, then the thrill of being given a second chance to make more blockbuster movies might just turn Tom Cruise back into the obnoxiously cocksure prick that we all remember from the good old days.

Continue reading...