We’ve literally spent months dreaming about becoming Miss Teen Louisiana USA, so we can’t tell you how miffed we are at Lindsey Evans.
Not only did 18-year-old Lindsey Evans snatch the title of Miss Teen Louisiana USA from under our noses – we knew we should have shaved our bum for the swimsuit round! – but she’s also gone and squandered it by allegedly running away from a restaurant without paying, and getting dethroned as Miss Teen Louisiana USA as a result.
It’s a shocking development. After all, everyone knows that beauty queens only get dethroned when they act like gigantic sluts and take naked pretend-lesbian photos of themselves for the internet. True, police did find a small bag of marijuana in Lindsey Evans’ possession, but that hardly makes up for anything. What we’re basically saying is that Lindsey Evans should be more of a slutty lesbian. And possibly invest in a dildo.
