This week Naomi Campbell was accused of beating yet another of her underlings into a bloody pulp – but did she do it?
Possibly not. Miodrag Mejdina, the driver who called the police on Tuesday when Naomi Campbell reportedly tried to punch through the back of his skull so she could pull out his eyes and use them like a pair of slimy hen-night deely boppers, has now issued a formal apology to Naomi for ‘overreacting’ and blowing the incident ‘out of proportion’.
In completely unrelated news, some recently-kidnapped members of Miodrag Mejdina’s family have just been released by an unknown captor, although many of the children have had their fingers chopped off and the phrase ‘This is a warning. Never rat on me again’ tattooed across their foreheads. Oh, we’re just kidding. OR ARE WE?
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A leopard can’t change its spots, but it’d probably try if Naomi Campbell smacked it around for long enough.
And she would, too. Because Naomi Campbell fears nothing. After being arrested approximately a million times for attacking people just because she felt like it, Naomi Campbell has now been accused of attacking yet another underling – this time it was her chauffeur, whose head she allegedly punched so hard that he was thrown forward and smashed his face onto his steering wheel.
However, it’s unlikely that Naomi Campbell will be charged for the incident. That’s not because it’s hard to prove she did it, though. It’s because, if she was taken in for questioning, Naomi Campbell would probably punch the police station to the ground, eat the rubble and then blind everyone by farting shards of gravel into their eyes. Seriously, you don’t mess with Naomi Campbell.
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This week Naomi Campbell was accused of beating yet another of her underlings into a bloody pulp – but did she do it?
