Remember watching those nature filmstrips in grade school that showed monkeys eating their young?

Remember thinking, “wow, now there is some exemplary parenting that should be honoured with the presentation of an award“? Of course you do.

The same principle applies for Dina Lohan, Lindsay Lohan’s mommy dearest, who is being given an award for her strides in mothering, or something. Just to be clear, then. This is Dina Lohan. The mother of Lindsay Lohan. Honoured with a mothering award. Animals who eat their young.

The circle of life at its finest, everyone.

We’ve just made a startling discovery – that blonde, old-type looking woman sporadically pictured partying with Lindsay Lohan in the tabloids is not actually Lindsay Lohan’s post-rehab mentor who is guiding our dear Lindsay back to a life of sobriety and health.

No, it’s her mom, Dina Lohan. And she is to be respected and revered for her accomplishments in mothering, you make no mistake. The Mingling Moms association of Long Island, NY, has found Dina Lohan to have crushed the competition in the very selective sets of Best Dye Job, Most Ineffectively Rehabilitated Children, Most Tabloid Appearances, Most Fame Whoring Ex-Husband, and this year’s new category: Most Likely to Cause Her World to Implode with a Shameless Reality Show.

Oh, come now. Before you hit that caps lock button for a pre-emptive ‘leave Lindsay Lohan and her family alone’ rant, know that we kid. We kid because we love. We love that as far as we can tell by reading one quote and doing no further investigating, the only basis the Mingling Moms organisation has for awarding Dina Lohan with an award is that she has a celebrity daughter. A spokesperson for the organization told OK!:

“We’re just honoring celebrities’ moms on Long Island. It’s something for Mother’s Day. It’s a list of mothers from Long Island who have raised superstar children.”

It cannot be determined as of yet whether or not the organisation is kidding due to the inability of any of its members to form facial expressions thanks to the botox-plugged faces and facelifts up to their foreheads. Further details to come as story develops.

Okay, we’ll admit that Dina Lohan is a mother and has a celebrity child that she has managed to not let die for a certain amount of time. Well done, Dina! We’d like to recognise the runners up, Carrot Top and a half-eaten piece of toast, for their efforts as well.

Read more:

Dina Lohan: Mom Of The Year? – OK