Quickly - think of the very worst thing you possibly can. Forget wars and pestilence and all that nonsense - we're talking really horrific here. What have you come up with?

There's a very high probability that you just thought 'Shane Richie starring in a remake of Minder for Channel Five'. Because, objectively, that's the very worst thing the human brain will allow you to imagine before it goes wrong and has a stroke.

But guess what? There is going to be a remake of Minder, it is going to be on Channel Five and irritating cockney wideboy gasbag Shane Richie will star in it. On the plus side, if you start destroying your TV with an axe now, there's a good chance you'll miss it.