JLS fans haven’t been very kind to us of late. Apparently they don’t like the fact that we inferred that their favourite band mimed some bad words and threw one of those showbiz hissy fit things at T4 On The Beach, which they TOTALLY did.

Naturally being the reasonable and thoughtful people we are, we thought we’d take another shot at them.

This time over the fact they’ve admitted they can’t sing.

According to the boys, they’re part of a ‘new school generation’ of pop musicians and that:

“stuff like music effects, auto tune and sampling is part of that.”

Which is a fancy way of saying that they can’t carry much of a tune so need some geek sitting behind a mixing desk to make their special brand of new school, soulless, corporate RnB even vaguely tolerable.

This revelation will come as a surprise to the legions of JLS fans out there. But it’s not their fault, after all, they were most likely conceived to the sounds of Milli Vanilli, that sort of upbringing has to bring with it a genetic predisposition to fabricated, radio friendly tunes.

Naturally we here at the hecklerspray bedsit imagine that this means that we shall be receiving our well-deserved apologies from each and every JLS fan who took the time to call us shits or, even worse, journalists in both the comments section of our T4 on the Beach article or on Twitter.

Don’t worry kids, one day you’ll discover a band that like you for you. We know the thought of Aston, Marvin, Simon and Theodore pulling the wool over your eyes in such a horrific way will probably scar you for life. But, to be honest, you deserve it.

Now grow up, stop crying and start listening to some real music.

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If you’ve ever been to a wedding, or seen one on the TV, or in a film, or read about them, or just, well, know anything about them at all, you’ll know that before the happy couple can be officially married the priest will say: “If anyone knows reasons why these two can’t be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Whenever that’s said, you know if would be amusing for someone to stand up and say something – be it someone screaming: “I’m pregnant with his child!” or: “he’s a wife beater!” or even the ever-popular: "he gave me some kind of incurable VD on his stag night, and he's quite possibly a vampire!"

Top pop mimer Ashlee Simpson must have been wondering where those people were at her recent wedding, though she probably didn't expect the holding-of-the-peace to be broken by her new husband. Hubby Pete Wentz has only gone and said that he used to indulge in a bit of man love, or holding-of-the-piece, as it were.

But before everyone accuses him of being trapped in the closet, he says it was done as a form of 'sexual rebellion', whatever that means.

Throughout the course of history it’s well documented that various people in society have rebelled: back in the early 1900’s, crazy Emmeline Pankhurst and her gang of suffragettes battled for the female UK vote, Martin Luther King also fought (and died) for the right for black people to vote. These people tried to make a difference in a world they saw as patently unfair, in whatever way they could. What Pete Wentz has achieved through tonguing a couple of his own kind is beyond us.

Perhaps he did it as a part of dare when playing spin the bottle, or maybe he just wants to look a bit harder then he is. However, he doesn’t help himself anymore when he refers to himself as 'half gay'.  Umm, unless it’s us, isn’t that someone who's bi-sexual, like the worldwide superstar Tila Tequila? You know someone who loves boys and girls equally and just wants to spread love like butter on a hot piece of toast?

Of the monumentous revelation, Wentz said:

“When I said that I make out with dudes, there was a slight sense of sexual rebellion in that.”

Grr, you go get them tiger!