military - HecklerSpray

Awesome or Off-Putting: Project Moon Dust

March 21st, 2011 By Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

You know that big sand-octopus that ate Boba Fett in the beginning of the third Star Wars movie? Well we were promised an interview with it – and we shouldn’t have gone dressed like a gigantic space-hot dog. It tentacled our legs together and that’s the last we remember for the last three weeks.

Honest to goodness, that’s where we’ve been.

But now we’re back – and we’re ready to tell you about Project Moon Dust – a supposedly secret military operation somehow related all UFO crashes everywhere forever and ever.

That’s a slight exaggeration only.

Awesome or Off-Putting: Another Roswell Alien Testimonial

September 19th, 2010 By Shawn Lindseth

When that weather balloon crashed in New Mexico all those years ago, it certainly was an inconvenience. Seriously – think of all that precious farm land that was now good for nothing except being a large dent.

Not only that – but think of all the nice people who were allegedly forced to cover it all up. Soldiers who woke to revelry that morning, marched through the mess hall as usual – and then suddenly they have a very strange secret to not tell a soul for the rest of their lives.

Almost the rest of their lives anyway. One former soldier, although not on the original Roswell scene, says he saw one of it’s aliens in captivity.

Awesome or Off-Putting: (Video) Finally – Undeniable UFO Proof That You Can Take All The Way To The Bank (Unless You Can’t)

November 9th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Roswell’s big problem is it’s all word of mouth. There are these tremendous claims of what went on there, but why believe a low-brow farmer? The same goes for Kecksburg. Sure, we’ve heard the military hauled out a tarp-covered something-or-other that was shaped like a gigantic acorn, but show us the pictures.

That said, there’s finally a UFO-crash discovery that was caught on film – and we owe it all to commie-riddled Russia!

Prince William Believes He Can Fly

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Prince William knows only too well that being second in line to the throne has its perks.

For instance, when you're going to be King Of England all sorts of lovely young girls routinely throw themselves at you even though you're an uppity rugby tosser with insane male pattern baldness, a near-incomprehensible speaking voice and a face like a pre-kiln Toby jug of an Easter Island statue made by the blind lady from that Lionel Richie video. Plus people let you fly fighter planes.

That's basically what we're getting at – someone's decided to let Prince William fly a fighter plane. That's about it.

Boozed-Up Sex Tape Star Jessica Sierra Banned From Army Gig

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

There are two things that soldiers enjoy – one is shooting foreigners and the other is watching hungover, coked-out amateur porn stars who used to be on a reality TV show slur out one halfhearted Bonnie Tyler cover version after another.

But that's not going to happen, because an American charity has decided that it doesn't want our new favourite good girl gone bad (or bad girl gone worse? Crap girl gone terrible?) Jessica Sierra to perform at a Washington Christmas tribute concert for US troops on Friday, thanks to her currently being held in custody for violating her parole in an embarrassingly drunk, vomit-stained, sexually-propositioning way, and also because of the imminent internet release of the grubby-looking Jessica Sierra sex tape.

But, undeterred, Jessica Sierra has vowed to help the army out in any way she can despite the concert snub, which is why this week she'll be offering sad-faced handjobs to crooked prison guards in return for donations to the war effort. Possibly.