Posts tagged as:

Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus Sorry For Being All Shrieky And Young And Whatever

by Stuart Heritage

Hey you! If you like news stories about people you’ve barely heard of possibly being somewhat rude about people you’ve never heard of, are you ever in for a treat!

And, since this story contains a public apology, you can bet your balls that it features Miley Cyrus as well. And it does! Miley Cyrus has apologised for a YouTube video of her apparently mocking Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato, who are apparently Disney stars or something. Honestly, not a clue.

Anyway, we have the offending Miley Cyrus video for you after the jump. Chances are it’ll make just as little sense to you as did to us, but at least it proves one thing beyond reason – that Miley Cyrus has the speaking voice of an abusive, chainsmoking pensioner.

21 comments Read more >>>

Buy Miley Cyrus On eBay. Also Buy Her Clothes.

by Shawn Lindseth

Now we know you are all probably gonna judge us, but keep in mind that Miley Cyrus is really, really mature for her age.

Her and us could probably talk for hours about the things we have in common – ownership of a bicycle, for instance. Yes, that’s it. We could talk about the ownership of bicycles. Well wherever our fantastic conversation is gonna lead us – it’s gonna lead us there soon. After all, we will do whatever it takes to ensure our eBay bid for a date with her is the one that reins supreme.

It better anyway. We just bought a new button-down shirt at Wal-Mart, and we’re having our favorite pants professionally pressed. We’d be embarrassed to have gone all out like that for nothing.

2 comments Read more >>>

Miley Cyrus Wishes She Was Normal, But Not Really

by Stuart Heritage

People, you may want to sit down – here is a Miley Cyrus story that doesn’t involve any unsettling teenage nudity.

We know! Crazy, huh? It seems that Miley Cyrus has passed the ‘inappropriate exhibitionism’ stage of her development and has already reached the ‘lonely superstar isolation’ mark, as demonstrated by a recent interview where she did nothing but glumly reflect on how she wishes she could be a normal teenager.

That’s great – as we all know, the ‘lonely superstar isolation’ stage is always followed by either the ‘drug-fuelled career meltdown’ or the ‘buying a monkey and considering it to be your only friend’ stage. Which path will Miley Cyrus pick? We don’t care, so long as she promises not to take any more pictures of herself in the shower. We’ve just eaten, Miley. Honestly.

4 comments Read more >>>

Miley Cyrus Wants To Make Sex And The City… For Kids

by Stuart Heritage

Phew, for a second there we thought that it was only Miley Cyrus’ body that got her in trouble – turns out it’s her mouth, too.

You see, Miley Cyrus doesn’t want to be the wholesome tween star of Hannah Montana forever, which is why she’s decided to tell the world about her brilliant new pitch for a TV show. It’s basically Miley Cyrus, right, starring in Sex And The City.

Seriously, that’s what she said. Miley Cyrus wants to make a toned-down, slightly more wholesome version of Sex And The City for children. This is deeply upsetting news indeed – we already had an idea for a show called The Miley Cyrus Over The Sweater Action And Nothing More Until I’m Married Because I Love God Hour, and Miley Cyrus goes and steals it, the 15-year-old bitch.

17 comments Read more >>>

Miley Cyrus: The Inevitable Wet T-Shirt Photos

by Stuart Heritage

Miley Cyrus is everywhere – TV, movie, magazines, record stores – so you’d expect that the girl would like a bit of privacy now and then.

Tish tosh, people, nothing of the sort. In fact, not even Miley Cyrus’ constant media saturation is enough for her – which is why she appears to be chronicling her entire life with photographs in an incredibly regimented way. Even the part of her life that involves posing in the shower in just a wet white T-shirt.

That’s right – photos of 15-year-old Miley Cyrus standing under a shower in just a wet T-shirt have been doing the internet rounds. It’s about the 15th set of embarrassingly provocative photos that Miley Cyrus has had to deal with, but it’s by no means the worst – rumour has it there’s a candid snap somewhere of Miley enjoying and dancing to her father’s song Achy Breaky Heart. That’d just finish her career instantly.

16 comments Read more >>>

Miley Cyrus: The Inevitable Move to Bad Girl, Complete With Vaguely Strong Language

by hecklerspray staff

Miley Cyrus is a name you have been forced to learn.

This is because you have a pre-teen daughter, or because the whole world threw a giant hissy over her photos in Vanity Fair, or because you’re a bit pervy like the majority of hecklerspray readers, and virtually all of the male staff.

But Miley Cyrus isn’t just kittens and cupcakes anymore. She’s angry, and she’s attempting to make the predictable jump from super sweet to angry and edgy in her new album. No, really. She totally is.

13 comments Read more >>>

Shia LaBeouf Says Bad Word: World Sheds Crocodile Tears

by Ian Dransfield

Shia LaBeouf has a daft name, that much most will agree on. It also seems he likes to call his friends daft names to prompt them into striking him in the face. Why ‘The Beef’ would want to be hit in the face is open to speculation – maybe he saw that Tarzan scene in [...]

12 comments Read more >>>

Miley Cyrus – Ripped Fishnets And Fear/We Are Watching You

by Paul Sorrenti

Ever since Miley Cyrus got her back out for Vanity Fair her celebrity has taken off faster than Usian Bolt with a scud-missile rammed up his jacksie.

It seems she is now target number one for the lenses of the world’s paparazzi – a section of humanity that, had they been sent to Auschwitz instead of the Jews, would have met no resistance from the rest of the world and we may well have let the Nazi’s keep Poland as a gift – no finer smoke would have ever risen from a chimney top.

The LA Times has reported that a photo of Miley Cyrus’ first kiss could be worth anything from $30,000 to $150,000.

Hecklerspray hasn’t quite got the same budget as the LA Times, but if you happen to get a pic of Miley’s first kiss then in return we’ll give you a tenner and an evening with Matthew Laidlow. He’ll even have a wash and take you to the nearest kebab shop he can find.

6 comments Read more >>>

Miley Cyrus: It’s Normal To Be A Slut Like Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan.

by Paul Sorrenti

Miley Cyrus has spoken out in defense of the worth of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan’s lives.

She has described their behavior as ‘normal’ for girls their age and suggested they have ‘good hearts’; a case of the pot defending the kettle for being black, perhaps? According to Yahoo, Miley said:

Everyone has their time. And I think most 21 to 25-year-olds go through this kind of thing. Basically, they’re being normal 21-year-olds, especially Lindsay. I mean, most of that’s pretty normal. If you went to most high schools, I could point out Britneys and Lindsays.

Everyone has their time. We hear ya, Miley, we hear ya.

5 comments Read more >>>

Hugh Hefner: Hey Miley Cyrus, Get Naked For Playboy

by Stuart Heritage

Now that you’ve seen part of her back and about a third of one of her bras, Miley Cyrus is a certified sex object.

What? Miley Cyrus is only 15? Well, um, obviously we were joking about that sex object bit. The supple, milky-white backs of teenage girls are so disgusting to us that we think they should all be burnt with flaming torches. But Playboy’s Hugh Hefner has another idea. You can probably guess what it involves.

That’s right – Hefner has asked Miley Cyrus to appear naked in Playboy. But don’t worry, because Miley Cyrus won’t be getting naked for Playboy until she’s 18, the age where people immediately stop having moral objections to teenage nudity. Until then, though, it looks like you’ll just have to wait until the inevitable Miley Cyrus naked internet photos. Perverts.

13 comments Read more >>>

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →