Miley Cyrus - HecklerSpray

HecklerSpray Advent, Day 2: The Triumphant Return of Miley Cyrus

December 2nd, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Miley Cyrus should be really pissed at Ariana Grande right now, but she probably isn’t, because they’re actually really good buds. But why do I think she should be? Well, Miley dropped the video for her new song with Mark Ronson, “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart”, on the 29th, only to be overshadowed by Ariana dropping the epic video for “Thank U, Next” the very next day.

While Ariana had the superior video, “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” is the superior song, and shows off the best work Miley has done since Bangerz.

The Grammys Were Pretty, Pretty, Pretty Good

January 29th, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Music awards shows have been letting me down for years by being boring af, so I was legit shocked when last night’s Grammys entertained the hell out of me. Queen SZA lost Best New Artist to that teenage girl who goes to parties so she can complain abut how lame parties are, Alessia Cara, but overall the whole thing was great.

I have no intention on running through all the winners because that’s not really how I run this shit, but I am going to share some of my fave moments with you! In case you hadn’t notice, this whole blogging thing has become pure self-indulgence for me.

HecklerSpray Advent Day 4: Miley Cyrus Probably Smells Better

December 4th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Three years ago today I wrote what I consider to be the best blog I have ever written. It was called “Miley Cyrus Looks Like the Floor of a 90’s Gay Bar.” Seriously, so read it if you haven’t because it’s my best work.

Flash forward three years, and in 2017 we’ve seen a fresher, cleaner, less ratchet Miley Cyrus re-emerge (don’t worry, you hot mess lovers, she’s been replaced by Bella Thorne).

Taylor Swift’s New Music Really Sucks, Hey?

October 20th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Before you Swifties come at me and call me a biased bitch who is just dissing Taylor Swift’s new music because I think she is a disgusting person, I’ll have you know that, musically speaking, I typically enjoy Taylor Swift. I think all her previous albums have been SUPER listenable and enjoyable and physically bought a copy of 1989, so you can throw that biased bullshit aside, thankyouverymuch.

Miley Cyrus Felt Sexualized Back When She Was Being Ratchet

July 13th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

2017 might be frolicking on the beach listening to Joni Mitchell, letting her roots grow out, and preaching her vegan, wannabe hippy Malibu lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean we’ve forgotten 2013/14 Miley, who looked like Tupac ejaculated all over a 1995 New York club kid dressed as a unicorn and fucked on MDMA.

Miley 3.0 is one again talking about Miley 2.0 (Miley 1.0 being Hannah Montana era) and admits that acting like the ratchet female version of Justin Bieber made her feel really sexualized. I mean, I get it, I feel like people look at me sexually when I perform music wearing nothing but glitter on my nipples and pretend to jerk off a dude in a giant duck costume all while wearing a dildo crown. Ugh, people sexualize EVERYTHING!

Miley Cyrus Regrets Riding Naked on a Wrecking Ball

May 17th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

A few years back, I wrote a blog about how Miley Cyrus looks like a living version of the dirty floor of a gay dance club in the ’80s. Back in 2013, Miley was all about smoking weed, listening to rap music, and looking as ratchet and tacky af. It was a beautiful time for a blogger like me.

Now that Miley has chilled the fuck out and settled back down with Liam Hemsworth to live a relaxed beach hippy vegan life, she regrets her raunchy past, which I think is really lame.

10 Celebrity Feminists that SHOCKINGLY Have Breasts!!!

March 7th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

So, the super educated, talented, intelligent, beautiful actress, Emma Watson, recently posed for Vanity Fair magazine to pimp out her new beastiality meets Stockholm syndrome flick, Beauty and the Beast.

Inside the magazine, Emma poses for some pics showing some side and underboob and for some reason people are losing their damn minds and coming at her for posing topless while claiming to be feminist. Jesus take the wheel here with me today…

Kristen Stewart Might be Banging a Victoria’s Secret Model

December 18th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

You know what I love about sexy lesbian Hollywood? Everything. It’s like there’s this small group of super hot, talented lesbians that just sort of date each other and make me constantly question my sexuality. It’s like 7 degrees of sexy lesbians! Today’s 7 degrees of sexy lesbians starts with Kristen Stewart.

Kristen Stewart was recently dating uber talented and sexy singer St. Vincent, who was once in a long-term relationship with sexy supermodel, Cara Delevingne. However, now Kristen is being spotted out and about with Victoria’s Secret mega babe, Stella Maxwell, who famous maybe got fingered by Miley Cyrus while the paps taped from a distance. What a web of sexiness, am I right?

Investigation: Why Does Bella Thorne Dress Like a Lot Lizard?

October 9th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

If there is one thing I’ve become known for here at Hecklerspray, it’s my hard-hitting investigative journalism. I like to think I single-handedly blew the lid off the Kylie Jenner 2.0 scandal (TELL US WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REAL KYLIE, KRIS!!!), and now I’m here to once again blow your minds with my Ann Coulter level journalism skills.

If you’re like me, which many of you don’t seem to be, you might be familiar with a fabulous Disney Channel show called Shake it Up. It’s the show that made Zendaya famous! It also made Bella Thorne famous; and like Miley Cyrus before her, Bella has decided to go from Disney princess to Ratchet baby hooker real quick.

Six Degrees of Justin Bieber’s Sex Life

August 17th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

So, I’ve been writing about Justin Bieber’s love life for a few years now and, as I’ve pointed out, I feel like most of the girls he ends up dating or banging are typically connected in some way, shape or form (usually through the Kardashian/Jenner clan. Again, making for some very awkward birthday parties).

So last night I got to thinking about all the ways Justin Bieber’s sex life adds up, as in how all the girls are connected, and I wondered if I could somehow connect ALL of girls he’s famously been linked to, and guess what? I did.