We live in a world where, astonishingly, Mike Tyson is actively encouraged to sing. And not any old tune. We live in a world where Mike Tyson is encouraged to sing The Girl From Ipanema.
We’ve all been waiting for a boxer to go Bossa Nova haven’t we?
Better yet, is that Mike Tyson is a convicted rapist and yet, for some reason, he continues to get work in movies and television. It must be great for Desiree Washington to see him enjoying the life of a celebrity again, right? Anyway, if you want to see him sing, get over the jump.
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When you were a child, chances are that your dreams of an older you revolved around being an astronaut, a surgeon, a model or something astonishingly vapid which, rightly, saw you roundly mocked by adults when you went to bed.
However, if you’re Michelle Williams, your dream was to attack Mike Tyson in the face ’til bits of it broke off.
That’s right, the Brokeback actress has ‘fessed up that, when she was a smaller version of herself, her dream was to be a professional boxer so she could take on the former heavyweight champion of the world. If his court cases are anything to go off, he may well have been up for battering a girl in the ring.
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Aww! Does everyone remember Iron Mike Tyson? You remember him right? Sure you do! He’s the cuddly, wuddly man with a tiger for a pet and a funny little mouse voice who used to punch people for a living!
Yeah! That guy!
Of course, since his boxing days were over, he went onto do to a whole bunch of wholesome stuff! Most notably, getting convicted of raping a woman, getting a dodgy tattoo around his eye socket and, the worst of all his crimes, starring in dismal film, The Hangover! And now, he’s kissing pigeons and whispering “I wuv you” to them where their ears are supposed to be.
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Yes dear readers, ANOTHER look-what-Mel-Gibson-has-done-now-isn’t-he-a-big-bucket-of-mad story.
Well actually, no. It’s more that some faceless drones in that vicious meat grinder that we call Hollywood have decided that Mad Ol’ Mel is a little too mad for them to work with. That cameo in The Hangover 2 we told you about, just ain’t happening any more.
Which means, once again, Hecklerspray has built up your expectations and then cruelly pissed all over them. Read More >>>
You never know what you’re going to get when you meet Mike Tyson. Is he going to punch you? Is he going to rape you?
Both? You just don’t know. And that’s what makes Mike Tyson such a lovably violent convicted rapist. So it must have come as something of a relief to a photographer at LAX yesterday when Mike Tyson only decided to punch him. Allegedly. Mike Tyson has been arrested for allegedly punching a paparazzo at LAX.
Brilliantly, Mike Tyson also reportedly performed a citizen’s arrest on the photographer while he was at it. Yep, say what you like the convicted drug-possessing rapist who brutally attacks people in the face for a living, but that man sure knows how to uphold the law.
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10 - What’s that? You want a gif of Gordon Ramsay pawing a woman on the boob? - Kuonji
9 - A Russian girl with an AK-47. Not sexy – I Am Bored
8 - If Lost characters told the truth. Splendid – Cracked
7 - The best page on Amazon. Fact – Amazon
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History’s most controversial boxer reveals every facet of his violent sporting career in James Toback’s documentary film Tyson.
From his early days as a hood to heavyweight champion of the world and jail-time in between, you’ll find that Mike Tyson is just another human. The film lands heavy punches with its classic quotes, revealing footage and in-depth look at Tyson’s personality.
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