Robotic proto-woman Megan Fox, widely reported as saying “I definitely have some kind of mental problem and I haven’t pinpointed what it is” has had a tattoo in honour of Mickey bloody Rourke.
“I don’t know if it’s been photographed yet, but it’ll come out eventually, I’m sure,” said the absolutely sane star of some really dreadful films to MTV whilst pictures of her new tat were available in national press worldwide.
Her reported reason for looking as though she’d been babysitting a child who’d got a bit out-of-hand with a permanent-marker was that “I just love him very much and think he’s very special”.
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Christians around the world will be marking the day that Jesus casually strolled out of his tomb and blew everyone’s minds, by frenziedly heaping great big handfuls of chocolate egg into their mouths, whilst enjoying Mel Gibson’s rather angry take on The Life of Brian.
Yes sir, it’s going to be a great few days.
Anyway, in honour of this chocolatey holiday, we thought it high time we paid our respects to some other historical figures – more specifically, famous people – who have also risen from the dead. Only in a slightly less literal sense. They weren’t actually dead. They were just jobless for a wee bit. Read More >>>
Iron Man 2 is one of 2010′s biggest films – because what do people like more than beardy, middle-aged punching robots?
Nothing, that’s what. But what can we expect from Iron Man 2? Will there be more explosions? Yes! Will there be more fight scenes? Yes! Will there be more gnarled, topless old men who talk in an affected Russian accent so ludicrous that it’d be offensive if it wasn’t so indecipherable? Yes!
We know this because a new Iron Man 2 trailer has just been released. But, like most modern things, it’s all a bit too whizz-bang for us to understand. So we’ve decided to slow down the new Iron Man 2 trailer and talk you through it scene by scene. Once again, you’re welcome…
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Iron Man 2, along with Toy Story 3 and Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil, will be one of 2010′s biggest movies.
It’s going to have everything! Explosions! Robots! Robert Downey Jr! Sexy ladies! So many peripheral baddies that you can’t help but think that it’s going to be as bloated and stupid as Spider-Man 3! A man! Made out of iron! But what’s Iron Man 2 actually going to be like? Luckily an Iron Man 2 trailer has just been leaked to the internet, and you can watch it below.
What’s more, we’ve taken the liberty of decoding the Iron Man 2 trailer in its entirety, so you can make sense of all the flashing images and whizz-bang noises. This is because we love you.
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So you played online poker for three hours and won a sum that a Polish minimum wage employee would snort derisively at.
The disappointment you feel could not compare to that of these fine gentlemen of film after learning what the wardrobe department had in store for them. We’ve all had to wear tights for one reason or another in our life, but even the butchest of men struggle to pull off these fashion faux pas.
So kick-starting the list is a man who drinks ugly and craps failure…
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For those of you who were too busy smoking to read The Bible, Lazarus was a bearded taxman who choked on a pound coin and dropped dead in the kitchen, only to be brought back to life moments later by a passing hippy called Jesus Christ Superstar.
It’s one of the best stories in there. Only narrowly trumped by the one about Charlton Heston making the Statue of Liberty disappear.
Anyway, in honour of the legend of Lazarus, we thought it high time to doff a cap at a small handful of famous people who have equally died, only to be brought back to life. Metaphorically speaking.
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Some good, some bad.
Folded:
Creased:
Oh Oscars, how could you? Up in chihuahua heaven, little Loki Rourke is in floods. Floods. Are you happy now?
You’d better be. Because, even though he’s won every single other award on the face of the Earth for The Wrestler, the Oscars have just decided to snub Mickey Rourke and give the Best Actor trophy to Sean Penn. Honestly Oscars, when Mickey Rourke goes off the rails again and ends up starring in Sylvester Stallone‘s Get Carter 2, the blood will be on your hands.
Also, Slumdog Millionaire won a bunch of Oscars, which is a great surprise to… oh, nobody.
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