Upsetting news for all you Michael Lohan fans – it seems as if Michael Lohan has suffered a minor heart attack.
What’s that? Michael Lohan doesn’t have any fans? Well, push your ill feelings for him to one side for a moment – Michael Lohan is still a human being made of flesh and blood, and he needs your sympathy and good wishes after going through what’s undoubtedly a highly traumatic experience.
Also, he needs you to stand still while he reads out all of the text messages that Lindsay Lohan sent him about his heart attack. No, really, some of them are quite good. And, no, Lindsay probably wouldn’t mind everyone hearing them even though she repeatedly accuses Michael Lohan of betraying her trust. Or maybe she would. Who’s knows with that kid, huh?
