Posts tagged as:

Michael Jackson

10 Things That Look A Bit Like Michael Jackson

by Mof Gimmers

Michael Jackson is dead. That’s too bad because he probably had a decent record left in him once he realised he oughta work with some decent songwriters and producers. Still, his memory lives on in his music, his batshit mental fans, court trials and of course, loads of things and people that look loads like [...]

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Date Announced For Mass Haranguing of Michael Jackson’s Doctor!

by Mof Gimmers

Michael Jackson’s death was as weird as the singer’s nose. Many starting rolling around in wallowing pain, leaving flowers by some imagined street corner whilst everyone else sniggered and called him a kiddie-fiddler. There were some in the cracks on the pavement that focused entirely on the albums he made up to ‘Dangerous’ (ie Before [...]

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The Marriage Of Katherine & Joe Jackson Is Deader Than Their Cold & Clammy Son

by Shawn Lindseth

Well that’s it. The one true Hollywood love story is coming to a close. Also Katherine & Joe Jackson are calling it quits after 60 years of marriage. As we understand it the last straw was when Katherine caught Joe belt-whipping Michael’s corpse and telling it to rot better. Because that’s supposed to be what [...]

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Wish You Could Move Like Michael Jackson? Now You Can!

by Kris Silver

Death has been good to Michael Jackson, his songs got back in the charts, he had a film out, everyone seemed to miraculously forget about all of the kiddy fiddling allegations, none of us had to look at that weird face of his anymore and he’s even got a new game coming out called Michael [...]

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Lady Gaga Is All Janet Jackson’s Fault

by Ralph Sanders

You know what? I’ve come to the conclusion that Janet Jackson is probably my favourite out of all of the ill-fated Jackson Cloning experiments of the 50s and 60s. Face it, she isn’t the one that gave her children aggressively brainless names that make them sound like they’re suffering a minor stroke due to an [...]

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Glee to Make Michael Jackson Special?

by Mof Gimmers

Michael Jackson once said “People write negatives things, cause they feel that’s what sells. Good news to them, doesn’t sell.” And who are we to disagree with a man who has an army of absolutely insane fans, ready to shout HATERS! at the merest mention of his name.

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will.i.am Doesn’t Think Much of the New Michael Jackson Album

by Mof Gimmers

Michael Jackson’s corpse has had an incredibly busy time of things hasn’t it? First, his ghost appeared on some news programme in America, as well as appearing under a giant silver cloche at his mind-melting send-off that was televised and sneered at by Trevor Nelson. Then everyone poked at it in their minds like an open sore so they could cry all over again whilst listening to Man in the Mirror.

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Michael Jackson’s First Posthumous Album: Out In November

by Matthew Laidlow

Do you ever question the possibility that Michael Jackson wasn’t actually human? There is an alarming amount of evidence which points towards the king of pop actually being an alien, robot or oompa loompa. Before you assume we’re under the influence of too much sugar, just remember that Jackson can illuminate grey lumps of concrete. [...]

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Michael Jackson’s Corpse Removed From Online Game

by Kris Silver

What could an acquitted paedophile and alleged Nazi fetishist like Michael Jackson and PopCap games, the producer of many bland and unoriginal flash-based casual games that people gain a Warcraft-like addiction to, possibly have in common? Aside from the obvious evils on both fronts the answer is Plants vs. Zombies. Plants vs. Zombies is a [...]

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Michael Jackson Apparently Liked To Relax With Nazi Documentaries

by Matthew Laidlow

After a rousing day of learning his ABC’s, Michael Jackson was one of the only children who feared going home. Instead of racing up his front path in order to chomp on sugar-loaded treats and watch Japanese cartoons where evil table lamps did battle with pandas that farted rainbows, he entered the Joe Jackson performance [...]

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