Posts tagged as:

Michael Jackson

Jedward Spunk £3000 On Michael Jackson’s Bedsheets

by Matthew Laidlow

Strangely, there is one small thing that Jedward and Michael Jackson have in common which isn’t related to music. Even though both artists are as culturally important as 56k internet dial-up connection, they have still continued to somehow remain in the public eye. Jedward crop up at any given opportunity to suck the teat of [...]

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Michael Jackson Plagued With Child Molestation Accusations Thanks To Lookalike

by Matthew Laidlow

Huh, what’s going on here? Surely 2005 hasn’t rolled around again has it? We all know that legally, Michael Jackson most definitely did nothing with children. Sexually speaking of course. Once the innocent verdict was passed, scenes of celebration from his followers were broadcast to the world. Fast-forward to 2010 where the world is without [...]

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Stupid Michael Jackson Fans To Completely Divorce Themselves From Reality In Virtual World

by Mof Gimmers

You could argue that many fans of Michael Jackson live in their own strange little world already, but soon, they’ll be able to completely detach themselves from normal people and stay at home, stinking of B.O. and going paler than Michael Jackson’s cock as they enter a virtual planet devoted to the late King of [...]

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Top 10 Ugly Celebrities (But None As Ugly As You)

by Steve Charnock

Celebrities. We love hating them. You do too if you were being honest with yourselves. In fact, you probably love the ones you hate more than the ones you love. So with that, let us poke some celebrities with a great big shitty stick for no reason at all. We’ll berate you while we’re at [...]

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Hecklerspray Definitely Fathered One Of Michael Jackson’s Children, Just Like Bodyguard Fathered A Blanket

by Mof Gimmers

Michael Jackson’s corpse has had more action than Elvis and Tupac’s combined. Seriously. It’s been insanely busy. After starring in one of the most weird send-offs in history, sat beneath a silver platter being sung at by Smokey Robinson, it went on to release a DVD and try and break-up a massive fight and numerous [...]

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UK versus USA: Reasons Why America Doesn’t Make Music As Good As We Do

by Mof Gimmers

Okay America – you may have given us rock ‘n’ roll, jazz and punk… but really, you’re not as good as we Brits. Seriously. America is rubbish compared to what we produce. Oh, you gave us hip-hop as well. Thanks for that. We really appreciate it. But we’re still better than you. It’s true and [...]

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Shock! As Conrad Murray Doesn’t Want To Be Held Responsible For Michael Jackson’s Death

by Mof Gimmers

Michael Jackson fans have seemingly made their minds up about Michael Jackson’s death. They’ve done their wikipedia research, read some articles and decided that Conrad Murray should be flogged in some way. For the first time, they’re all agreeing with Michael’s dad, Joe. There’s a turn up for the books. Joe Jackson’s put through a [...]

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Stephen Fry Now Conducts Interviews In Less Than 140 Characters

by Kris Silver

Stephen Fry is the Dad we wished we all had here at Hecklerspray, mainly because he’s less drinky-drinky-touchy-feely than our real Dads, but also because he’s so loveable and he loves technology. Fry has always showcased his love for technology and yesterday conducted the first ever newspaper interview via twitter, in which he used the [...]

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Michael Jackson’s Dad Clearly Wants Loads of Money From The Pockets of Michael Jackson’s Cadaver

by Mof Gimmers

Michael Jackson fans love us writing about their favourite popstar. We pull their noses and they get to try and outdo each other with hyperbolic claims of infatuation and true fandom. We all prop each other up, like recovering drunks in a day centre. Someone who loves Michael Jackson more than any of us is [...]

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Heidi Montag Doesn’t Want A Messed Up Face Like Michael Jackson

by Matthew Laidlow

Conventional plastic surgery is a lot of rubbish and, frankly, a complete waste of time, only worth it for the doctor who’ll hack you open for a large amount of cash. There isn’t a gigantic neon sign flashing above somebody with a message saying “compliment this insecure woman; she used to have four nostrils until [...]

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