Michael Jackson will - HecklerSpray

Joe Jackson Needs Some Pocket Money From His Dead Son

November 9th, 2009 By Matthew Laidlow

Parents, we all have them. And we all have memories of them.

From the time you crapped yourself in a busy shopping centre to when your father started using swearwords in full conversation. Face it, we've all been there. Well that's unless you're a weird test-tube child and you were grown for scientific amusement.

Sadly, not all relationships between parents and their offspring can go smoothly. There can be a variety of reasons of this. In the case of Michael Jackson he objected to his dad Joe Jackson whipping the stuffing out of him. But time heals all and love conquers emotions. Or, if your son has raked in as much posthumous money as Michael Jackson, then time means that daddy gets an easy payday.

Michael Jackson’s Family Get Stuck Into His Will

July 22nd, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

They say that losing a child is the worst thing that can happen to a parent, but that’s clearly rubbish.

Look at Michael Jackson‘s parents. They’re living proof that the worst thing that can happen to a parent is losing a millionaire child who wrote you out of his will because you used to mercilessly beat him all the time. But Katherine and Joe Jackson aren’t going to let a little thing like the dying wishes of their beloved son stop them from getting rich, so they’re contesting Michael Jackson’s will.

They waited for 27 days, for anyone running office sweepstakes.

Michael Jackson Sells His Kids To Diana Ross Or Something

July 2nd, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Michael Jackson’s kids must be going through a horrific time at the moment – their dad has just died, after all.

Worse still, it looks like they’re going to be at the centre of a confusing, emotionally-exhausting custody battle. But maybe, just maybe, help is at hand. And it comes in the shining, mad-eyed, massively unsuitable form of Diana Ross.

That’s right. Michael Jackson stated in his will that if his mother is unable to look after his kids, then Diana Ross – his co-star in The Wiz – should. And if she can’t, then the giant plasticine rabbit from Moonwalker should. Probably.

Michael Jackson Cuts His Dad Out Of His Will

July 1st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

This news just in: Michael Jackson is still dead. In other news, people still won’t shut up about it.

And why should they? Michael Jackson’s death was just the tip of a depressing iceberg that we’ll hear about for months – especially now that Michael Jackson’s will from 2002 has apparently turned up. It’ll take a while for the contents to be made public, but early reports suggest that Michael Jackson’s father Joe doesn’t even get a look in.

It’ll come as a painful shock to Joe Jackson – we heard that he really had his eye on Michael’s nightmarish abandoned fairground, too.