There’s no such thing as bad publicity supposedly, even if it is truly damaging to somebody’s career.
Michael Jackson was a shining example of this, with his problems generating all sorts of interest towards him. Whenever the iffy subject of shedloads of debt cropped up, then Michael responded by purchasing extravagant tacky art. Which as we all know, plunged him further into debt.
One of the biggest stories to dog Michael Jackson during his life wasn’t his exploding hair, morphing skin colour or amusing pet monkey. Instead, it was his long court battles against children who claimed that that everything got a bit too friendly. But he was found to be innocent – so now the geniuses at Sony want to reintroduce Michael Jackson into the lives of Japanese kids via their PS3 console.
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Michael Jackson’s This Is It opens on Wednesday, and it’s bound to be a stupendous hit. But what’s it like?
Well, frankly, who cares? This Is It will be a hit no matter what it’s about. This is It could consist of nothing but Michael Jackson mumbling threats at a sleeping cat for two hours and it’ll still end up as one of the year’s top-grossing films. But it would be sort of nice to know what This Is It is like, wouldn’t it?
Well fear no more – Michael Jackson’s brother Jackie has seen This Is It, and he loves it. And he once recorded a song called Cruzin’, so he knows quality when he sees it.
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When you heard Michael Jackson’s new single This Is It yesterday, you probably thought “Wow, Michael’s still got it.”
And you’re right. Michael Jackson has still got it. It’s just that ‘it’ in this case refers to an 18-year-old collection of obscure Puerto Rican pop songs. Because This Is It was first released in 1991 by an artist called Sa-Fire, who we haven’t heard of either.
What’s more, it’s been announced that Paul Anka will get half of the royalties from This Is It, ensuring him a massive payday. So just imagine how much bigger the payday would have been if the song was actually any good.
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Michael Jackson’s aborted comeback shows were dubbed This Is It. And his new movie is called This Is It.
Now Michael Jackson has a new song. Guess what it’s called. That’s right – it’s called Mr Dingleberry’s Enchanted Bloodhound. No, no it’s not. It’s also called This Is It. And the good news is that, provided that Free As A Bird is your favourite Beatles song and you feel that Tupac Shakur never really came into his own until several years after he died, it isn’t completely awful.
You want to listen to Michael Jackson’s This Is It, don’t you? Oh, go on then.
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It’s fair to say that the new Michael Jackson film This Is It will be the greatest movie in cinema history.
Wait, that needs to be modified. It’ll be the greatest Michael Jackson movie in cinema history. No, that’s still not right. It’ll be the greatest hodge-podge of halfhearted private rehearsal footage of Michael Jackson in cinema history. We’re almost there – it’ll be the greatest hodge-podge of halfhearted private rehearsal footage of Michael Jackson that’s released suspiciously close to Halloween in cinema history. Bingo.
That’s right – Halloween. Never say that Hollywood doesn’t have a sense of humour.
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