HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

Michael Jackson Movie Released Near Halloween, Hilariously

By Stuart Heritage

Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson movie, Michael Jackson This Is It, HalloweenIt’s fair to say that the new Michael Jackson film This Is It will be the greatest movie in cinema history.

Wait, that needs to be modified. It’ll be the greatest Michael Jackson movie in cinema history. No, that’s still not right. It’ll be the greatest hodge-podge of halfhearted private rehearsal footage of Michael Jackson in cinema history. We’re almost there – it’ll be the greatest hodge-podge of halfhearted private rehearsal footage of Michael Jackson that’s released suspiciously close to Halloween in cinema history. Bingo.

That’s right – Halloween. Never say that Hollywood doesn’t have a sense of humour.

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Michael Jackson: The Movie – Coming Disappointingly Soon

By Stuart Heritage

Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson dead, Michael Jackson rehearsal, Michael Jackson movieIn his lifetime, Michael Jackson flourished in all mediums – music, films about gay-looking scarecrows.

Really long, slightly tedious music videos. All of them. But what about horrifying, legacy-destroying, drug-addled posthumous 3D tour rehearsal movies? Michael Jackson rules at those, too – Sony will apparently buy the rights to Michael Jackson’s final rehearsal footage, and the High School Musical director will release it before Christmas.

That’s if he can animate the six-foot dancing Plasticine rabbit in time, because a Michael Jackson movie without a Plasticine rabbit is like a Michael Jackson story without a shoehorned-in reference to Jesus Juice – weird and incomplete.

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