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Michael Jackson memorial

Jennifer Hudson Either Pregnant Or Not Pregnant Or Whatever

by Stuart Heritage on July 8, 2009 7 Comments

Jennifer Hudson, Jennifer Hudson pregnant, Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson memorialAnyone watching Michael Jackson’s memorial yesterday will have noticed something very strange indeed.

No, not the way that they made a 12-year-old kid sing an old Michael Jackson song directly at Michael Jackson’s coffin – although in retrospect that was sort of strange – we’re talking about Jennifer Hudson. Apparently reports are suggesting that Jennifer Hudson is eight months pregnant.

Jennifer Hudson’s pregnancy is completely unconfirmed, by the way – all anyone has to go on is the GIANT BABY BUMP STICKING OUT OF HER BELLY. And the way that JENNIFER HUDSON HAS ALREADY HAD A BABY SHOWER. Other than that, we’re stumped.

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1.6m Apply To Make Sure That Michael Jackson Is Really Dead

by Stuart Heritage on July 6, 2009 4 Comments

Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson dead, Michael Jackson memorialDidn’t get tickets to see Michael Jackson perform this summer? Never mind – the next best thing happens tomorrow.

Now, since Michael Jackson is dead, the next best thing clearly involves standing in a giant arena for hours at a time wedged between a hysterically weeping hermaphrodite with a sparkly glove fetish and someone dressed up as golden-era Bubbles while Michael Jackson’s coffin remains a speck on a stage several hundred feet away, but that doesn’t seem to have put people off.

Michael Jackson’s memorial service takes place at the Staples Centre tomorrow. And 1.6 million people have inexplicably registered for tickets.

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