You know what the best thing about Dr Conrad Murray’s manslaughter charge is? Nobody is happy about it.?
The Jackson family? Not happy. They wanted Murray to faces charges of murder following Michael Jackson‘s death, and think that manslaughter is just a slap on the wrist. Murray? Not happy. He says that he procured the heavy duty anaesthetic that killed Michael Jackson legally, and that he was doing everything he could to wean Michael off it.
Us? Also not happy. Because now it means we’re going to have more Michael Jackson nonsense shoved down our throat until the end of poxy time. Yeah, thanks a lot for dying Michael Jackson, you big sod.
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Bored of Michael Jackson yet? No? Really? What’s wrong with you? Well, OK, it’s probably a good thing that you’re not.
Because he’s still everywhere. Not in an omniscient, Jesusy kind of way, you understand – Michael Jackson is everywhere because people are still thwumping on about whether or not his death was down to manslaughter. There’s a chance that authorities will decide it is soon – and if charges are brought against him, Dr Conrad Murray has said that he’s ready to surrender himself to the police.
Obviously it’s far too early to speculate about the type of sentence that Murray would receive if he was found guilty of Michael Jackson’s manslaughter. Although, needless to say, it’s bound to include at least 30 minutes inside a locked room with Joe Jackson and his whippin’ belt.
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Michael Jackson’s death has now taken a highly sinister turn thanks to this manslaughter investigation.
It means Michael Jackson didn’t just die. Someone might have killed him. Accidentally. And probably on Michael Jackson’s orders. So it’s not a good time to be Dr Conrad Murray, the man who possibly followed Michael Jackson’s instructions and gave him the drugs that killed him. Boo to Dr Conrad Murray, the unconvicted, uncharged potential follower of Michael Jackson’s specific drug-based requests!
Anyway, police have raided Dr Conrad Murray’s home and office again. Twice more and Murray gets his own reality show. That’s the law.
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You’ve probably spent the last week fretting about the Michael Jackson death coverage becoming less oppressively ubiquitous.
But relax! Michael Jackson is still the only thing that anybody wants to see, hear, read or think about – the stories just needed a new angle to keep things fresh. So here’s the good news – Michael Jackson’s death is now being treated as a criminal investigation, with Michael’s cardiologist being investigated on suspicion of manslaughter!
Hooray! Hopefully this investigation will fill the journalistic gap between now and the moment when Michael Jackson’s kids hit puberty and go completely off the titting rails! Exciting!
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