Michael Jackson concerts

Michael Jackson’s Comeback On The Fritz Already

May 21st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Michael Jackson marked his big London comeback with the phrase This Is It. But, if you ask us, maybe he was being a little premature.

Because in fairness this is it – the moment when Michael Jackson starts postponing, delaying and cancelling his comeback concerts one by one until his entire 50-date O2 residence is reduced to him banging an upturned biscuit tin with a wooden spoon for three minutes in front of a single crying child in Bluewater car park.

Michael Jackson has postponed his comeback by a week. Not because he’s ill, though. That’s important. It’s because he’s rubbish.

Michael Jackson Lined Up To Fall Apart on X Factor

March 25th, 2009 By Matthew Laidlow

You know that Michael Jackson dude? The pop star who looks like a cross between a waxwork dummy and half a human being?

Well he's announced a few gigs in London to recoup some money so he can pay off his debts and buy more extravagant things like a 40-foot-high sculpture of Barbara Windsor.

When London is plagued with his presence later this year, the singer will no doubt be asked to take part in multiple public appearances. Evil music lord Simon Cowell is one of the people who wants MJ to appear on X Factor when it annoyingly returns on our screens towards the arse end of 2009.

Michael Jackson To Whine New Songs In London

March 25th, 2009 By Matthew Laidlow

Quick everyone! Don your sparkly gloves and pick up your replica Bubbles the monkey soft toy.

Do we have some earth shattering news for you! You may have to put your hand over your crotch so people don't know you've pissed yourself in excitement.

Everyone knows that Michael Jackson is coming to London in July to sing a few songs and try smile. Being in the presence of a living legend is one thing, but won't it be boring when he mimes from his old catalogue of hits? Don't think that for a second, though! Michael Jackson is rumoured to be debuting new material at his gigs.

Michael Jackson Is Coming To London, It Says Here

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

OK, let’s play a game – how long before Michael Jackson cancels his big comeback concerts in London?

Because, let’s face it, he will. Although Michael Jackson is supposedly going to announce a spectacular series of 30 comeback concerts at London’s O2 tomorrow, there can’t be anyone who’s actually expecting them to, you know, happen.

So what’ll it be? Will Michael Jackson ditch the concerts once he’s accepted the cheque? Will he pull out at the last possible second? Or will he perform the shows, regain his place in the pop elite and never look back? No, we’re just messing. He won’t.